Reply to Be honest- what do you think about women who are content to be just wives and mothers?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't really think about it as a concept?

I know a few SAHMs who are the [b]"I'm so busy I'm so busy listen to ALL THE THINGS I have to do!" type[/b] which is kind of in insufferable when it's a huge part of their personality. Not that I am judging, but it's an odd schtick and hard to be on the receiving end of because I never know how to respond. Am I supposed to share my work tasks? List my mom tasks? Tell them they are the #1 busiest? Steer the conversation to something else? When I used to SAH I did not do this, largely because I felt self-conscious.

I feel lucky to have a flexible yet fulfilling career that I am good at and recognized for, but it's not my whole personality and a career isn't necessary to be a whole person. People should be free to do what they want, but I do think it's healthy for their identities to expand beyond the boundaries of WOH or SAH.[/quote]
I feel like this stems from insecurity, perhaps theyve been judged as lazy before and now make such a big fluff about how much they actually do. [/quote]

I disagree because I know plenty of SAHM *and* WOHM moms that do this.  I think some women bond over venting about the busyness of their lives, while recognizing that whether it’s their kids or their career, they wouldn’t change a thing.  A SAHM going on and on about the chaos of travel soccer isn’t looking for you to feel bad for her, it’s more like an invitation for you to respond “ugh I totally get it!  I am closing on two real estate deals tomorrow and the clients are being so difficult…let’s go grab a cocktail and forget about it all for an hour.”  [/quote]

+1. Yes! You get it. This is exactly it. And I complain about all of it - my kids, my work, my dogs. Whatever. It’s banter. [/quote]

I'm a SAHM and I never complain about being busy (because I'm not), but lots of working parents tell me they know I must be crazy busy, and they talk about how busy they are too. I really do think it's just bonding. [/quote]

If you are not busy, then your kids are small or don’t do any busy activities. I wasn’t busy either until my kids hit middle school. Now they are 13 and 16 and I honestly feel busier than when they were preschoolers. [/quote]

Busier after they get home from school, you mean. They're gone the majority of the day...[/quote]

Correct. But when they are home now, I am busier and more frazzled and tired than I was when I had them home with me full time. Back then, I controlled our schedule and we did everything leisurely. They were very content just to play in the house and yard and the occasional playground. We shopped together and I prepared meals leisurely and I just sort of lightly cleaned while they played. I rested while they napped and they went to bed early - 7/7:30pm and slept for 11-12 hours.

Now they leave on a staggered schedule (MS and HS) - I am making breakfast and packing lunches from 7am - 9am. Then they come home on a staggered schedule - 3:45 and 4:45. Both need healthy snacks and then most nights they are eating dinner at different times from each other due to activity schedules. My husband and I will eat with one or both of them depending on the night, plus they have to be dropped off and picked up in the middle of it all. I don't control when the practice/games/performances/competitions are nor do I have much say over the specific location. Then throw in homework, after practice snacks, showers, etc. and I'm not usually "off" until 10pm.

It is more hectic and harder now. I literally thought it was easier when they were 1 and 4. [/quote]

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