Reply to What is a "donut hole family"?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Being able to save for college is an absolute luxury.  One of the only reasons we didn't drown in our 30s financially was because my DH and I were able to pay off our own college costs with some help from family.

If you are still paying you own student loans, it is tough to find cash to sock away for your kids.  Especially since college savings should never come before retirement savings.  How many Americans do you think have $1M in retirement savings?  I'll answer that: VERY FEW.

Are college costs insane?  Yes.  If you are rich (making over $200k is RICH) does anyone feel bad for you?  NO.[/quote]

Those who are making $200 K and have a child of college age, have not been making $200 K for long, ourselves included. No way to save enough for private school, but private schools think we can afford $82k annually[/quote]

So realize that there are plenty of schools (both private and public) just below the elite level and many offer great merit.  So you can't afford $82K.  So focus on finding the best you can afford.  Even if you can afford it, many many many smart, highly talented kids with 4.0UW and 1550+ don't get into a T20 school.  It's life.  You are not entitled to anything.  If you are really so smart, you should know that where you go does not matter as much as what you do when you get there (as well as if you can do it while not going into any or major debt).  Your kid will do better if they are not straddled with debt and are not mentally stressed because they are not going to an elite school.  
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Oh please. First of all, there aren't THAT many of high quality schools that offer "great merit." Who are you to lecture people on what they should be required to expect or want? It's not "entitlement" it is the expectation that you save, your kid works their a$$ off . . . 20 years ago those kids and family could go to lots of schools (and pay for it) and a) not only may they not get it, b) if you do, you couldn't pay for it without liquidating the hardly extraordinary savings you've built up.

I had a conversation with a friend who recommended the school he went to for my child. And it would be a great fit for my kid. But I had to tell him that at $85K/year (including room and board), and NO merit aid given by this school, we would not be able to swing it w/o sacrificing  . . . well pretty much everything and saving nothing else for 4 years of school (as well as liquidating what we have). And forget about any unforeseen complications: supporting parents, serious medical problems, loss of job. He was completely shocked and taken aback by that number and sorely disappointed in his alma mater. He even called a friend on the board to talk to him about it. He was not thrilled that there would be families like ours who wouldn't even apply to this school solely b/c we are in that big, fat donut hole.

Maybe save your sanctimony, PP, for things you actually know about. Dick.[/quote]

We're a donut hole family but we've always emphasized to our kids that they can get a good education at most colleges if they put in the effort. In-state publics, OOS publics with merit, LACs and private universities with merit, regional colleges, etc. They're still excited by their options! [/quote]

+1 my friend also recommended her now $70k+ no-merit LAC for my DD who wants a small school. I just let her know what it costs now (she had no idea) and that it wasn't in our budget. But we have a lot of good choices that will work. I did not feel at all insulted, diminished, shamed, or whatever because we can't/choose not to spend a ridiculous about on college. I feel really lucky we can spend up to $40k per year.[/quote]

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