Toggle navigation
Toggle navigation
Home
DCUM Forums
Nanny Forums
Events
About DCUM
Advertising
Search
Recent Topics
Hottest Topics
FAQs and Guidelines
Privacy Policy
Your current identity is: Anonymous
Login
Preview
Subject:
Forum Index
»
Adult Children
Reply to "What do you do when your adult child goes into therapy and lays blame at your feet."
Subject:
Emoticons
More smilies
Text Color:
Default
Dark Red
Red
Orange
Brown
Yellow
Green
Olive
Cyan
Blue
Dark Blue
Violet
White
Black
Font:
Very Small
Small
Normal
Big
Giant
Close Marks
[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It is always the parents fault and I am not being sarcastic.[/quote] Op here, I will say that DH was my most challenging kid. [b]He was headstrong and demanding from the time he was a baby. He was rarely content and cried a lot as a baby. He fought potty training and putting on clothes. I would dress him, he would take it off.[/b] If we wanted him do his chores, he would argue about why it was unfair or he shouldn't have to do it - for a much longer time than the chore would take. He dropped out of college and blamed us because shouldn't have made him go in the first place. This is his personality.[/quote] Right up until my mother died she would throw in my face how I cried a lot as a baby and never wanted her to rock me. As if I was being mean to her, as if I should apologize for how I was as a BABY and TODDLER. Please do not do this to your son.[/quote] This is all I needed to read to know that OP was the problem. My mother does the same thing to me. I was colicky. She brings it up 40 years later. Like I owe her an apology for my inability to control my crying and be content with her as a baby. So, a homeschooling, religious fundie who was annoyed that her baby cried is now not pleased that the baby grew up and told her she sucked as a mom. Poor guy. I hope he marries someone who is a better wife/mother than OP. [/quote] DP. Where did you get all this cr@p? Your fevered imagination? OP never said she threw her DS’ stubbornness his face—that was a completely different poster who was talking about her own mother. OP hasn’t told us how she dealt with her stubborn DC. OP also never indicated that she’s a fundie—you made that up. People homeschool for many reasons—ask our our atheist homeschooling neighbors—and you have no clue how much religion played a part because OP hasn’t told us all her reasons. Maybe she lived in a bad school district. Geez, get a grip. We get it, you’re an anti-religion bigot. Can you stop posting this now? OP did say, right above, that she wanted DC to go to college and now he’s mad about that. You didn’t address that in your rant. So tell us, is wanting college for your kids really so bad? [/quote] Wanting college isn't so bad, but altogether the picture painted for me is that: This mother never considered any input from her son about his life. She prescribed homeschooling, religion and college and didn't budge when he didn't respond well to those. It paints a picture of a mother who didn't know or care to know who her child was, did not value his individuality, and instead just marched him on to meet her own goals, as if he were a product and not a person. This would be traumatizing. [/quote] How do you know her son made his schooling and religion wishes known when he was still young but she just steam-rolled over them? OP never said that. It sounds very much like his claims about schooling and religion are new to her. What OP actually said was that they argued about him wearing clothes and doing chores—are you claiming she should have backed down on either of these to respect his “individuality”? Again, you’re fantasizing to fit some bizarre personal narrative of your own.[/quote] This is now a long thread but I thought OP came back and acknowledged homeschooling and her marriage were issues that affected her son negatively. And that she stood by college and religion?[/quote] OP here, we pushed DS to go to college because we hoped it would help him find a career path and also help him grow up vs living at home. DS went to the college but didn't go to classes or study so his grades were crap and had to leave. DS blames us to sending him to college but doesn't take responsibility for not going to class or studying. Now his college GPA is so low he feels like he can't enroll in college now if we wanted to. Not his fault, but ours. After 18 we didn't force church on him, but did expect him to be a godly person in his behavior. He went a bit wild as a young adult.[/quote] Pp here. “Godly person”… lol I (and others that I’ve just seen) were spot on. Classic fundie. And for those of you who can’t see it, lucky you. And fwiw, I’m Christian. Just not the kind that uses their God to justify emotionally immaturity and their rigid way of parenting.[/quote] As a Christian, do you consider yourself a Godly person, living your life according to Christian principles and keeping God central in your life?[/quote] Non Christian dp. The Christians I know don't make declarations about their godliness. They are simply good people who do good deeds for their family and community. Most of all, they do not judge.[/quote]
Options
Disable HTML in this message
Disable BB Code in this message
Disable smilies in this message
Review message
Search
Recent Topics
Hottest Topics