Reply to If I had know this was the case, I probably wouldn't have married you.

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Reply to "If I had know this was the case, I probably wouldn't have married you."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Couple of points:

1. The "she wanted the child" was a response to "she sacrificed her body for your children." I agree it's a good idea to leave the kid out of it. But do it on both sides of the equation.

2. I agree that you provide income, a home, flowers, and the rest of it, not as a trade, but because you love your family. That's also why one spouse has sex with the other. An act of love. But, if it's "being used" to have sex when you don't feel like it, then it's also "being used" to go earn money when you don't feel like it.

3. LD has to recognize sex as a legitimate priority and not ignore it. HD has to recognize acts of love important to LD as priorities also. You can't blow off your spouse's priorities simply because, left on your own, you would regard them as unimportant.[/quote]

I agree with your points on the main but I don't get why you feel you are being used for money.  Many of LD people out there work, too, and our spouses work because they want to and because they are contributing to the home.  I guess I just don't find this complaint valid in many cases.[/quote]

Oh, for example, if it were just up to me, we'd live in a much cheaper, smaller house with little or no mortgage. I wouldn't need window coverings or bed skirts or all manner of other decorative crap. But, she wants a nicer place, and I love her, so we have a nicer place. If we didn't, I wouldn't have to work so hard and I'd have more time and money for, say, vacations. Generally, I'm content with that; but, when we're not having sex, it makes me feel like she doesn't love me, doesn't appreciate how hard I work, etc. And, in those darker moments, when there is no real indication - including but not limited to sex - that she digs me and what I do because I love her, I definitely get grumpy about working hard when I could have a small house, early retirement, and vacations.  [/quote]

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