Reply to Neither AC wants kids. I can't help feeling like I failed.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This reminds me of when I got no help from my parents after my first was born and my DH and I struggled so much. Then when DC started preschool and we went from paying $30k a year to $22k for childcare, my mom acted all shocked and disappointed that we had decided not to have more. Having kids in this country is too hard, expensive, and dangerous. The younger generations have realized this and are opting out. I don't blame them.[/quote]What kind of help did you expect from your parents?[/quote]
I would love it if somebody got on a plane whenever there is a hospitalization. Over the years we've had vasoepididyomotomy, 3 babies (2 Csecs), 1 laparoscopic Csec isthmocele revision, an emergency gallbladder due to pancreatitis and toddler w/ bronchiolitid has resulted in ZERO parental help. [/quote] Did you move away from them? Or did you stay to be near them but then they moved away?[/quote]
I have no extended family in the state where I grew up because my mom moved us for her career. 
I moved a 7hr drive to marry my husband 
My husband's mom moved out of his city for 2nd husband, 7hr plane ride 
My dad is disabled, my FIL dead from opiate OD. 
Both of the moms remarried, late in life career reboots. My mom has a dumb@ss 100lb dog. She can barely walk it due to overweight and hip replacement. Both too busy for their grandkids due to 2nd families. MIL had a second set of kids late in life, the youngest is still in middle school.

I was just talking to my husband about this, the first 80% of childcare is easy. The last 20% sucks. We can never go on a romantic vacation. If my husband was to come to a prenatal appt, he would have to take off work and we would have to spend $100 on a babysitter. I endured horrific obstetric violence my last pregnancy, because my husband was never there and they are like sharks to unaccompanied women, and am closing up shop as a result.

Really not a nice feeling to be texting your DH on handing off hospital duties, how many diapers does he need to bring to the hospital, etc. He's working and watching kids all the while.

I can't blame people for not having kids. Parents get zero respect or help.  [/quote]

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