Reply to Is "making dinner" part of your SAHM job description?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think DH is disappointed that I don't cook dinner as part of the SAH gig. I hate meal planning and cooking. DS is 12 mos. He eats simple, decinstructed meals. I eat whatever is around. Cheese and crackers for lunch if I want. I have no expectation that DH produce dinner for me. I didn't have that expectation when we were both working, either.  I don't have a bunch of school-aged kids where we all need to sit around as a family. I really hate this expectation that I'm supposed to prepare food for a grown man now that [b]my job is raising our child[/b].  I was thinking of cooking tonight-we have this bag of potatos on the counter. If it were just me, I'd have a baked potato and a Diet Coke. But since I'm cooking for a "family" I have to produce something more ambitious - a baked potato "bar" or whatever. No thanks. I'm want to cook what I want to eat and not cater to what DH likes. Today he came home and asked what I made-I told him "nothing", and he went to the grocery store after working all day, and I don't really care. [/quote]

[b]Your job is running the household. I'm not sure where you got this idea that staying home meant you're essentially a nanny. The job description is a lot more comprehensive than just child care.[/b][/quote]
+1 think of yourself as a housewife and not a stay at home mom[/quote]

And many nannies hAve basic food prep functions as part of their job requirements. I suspect a lot of folks on here wouldn't pay a nanny full time wages "only" to watch their kids. [/quote]

Most nannies don't have 24/7 round the clock duty, 365 days a year.  SAHMs are not nannies, maids.  And I did not quit my full time job to become a nanny or a housewife.  I am a SAHM because this is the way that dh and I have opted to handle our shared responsibilities.  I am not his servant.  The kids and I are not his staff.  We are his family and we love him a lot.  IF I really hated to cook I am sure that dh and I would work that out just like we have divided all of our responsibilities.[/quote]

You need to get over yourself. You can rail about the third shift, division of labor, etc. but ultimately the way our lives are structured has to come down to what's practical. I'm a stringent feminist and do laundry, make the bed, and cook dinner (and, frequently, breakfast) - in no way does that put me on the level of a domestic (which is pretty classist framing, by the way). DH is gone from the house from 7-5 - it's just not practical to expect him to share in domestic duties equally. It's also not reasonable. Real life is not theoretical - it is the here and now. [/quote]

No one is saying he should share in the domestic chores equally. The fact that he is gone for a good part of the day actually means that he is not sharing in the domestic duties equally - his wife is the one watching the kids.

But, working 7-5 doesn't mean that he can check out of all household duties.  He can help out with the cooking.  Or the laundry. Or he can watch the kids while his wife does those things. Op and her husband have to decide what works best for them.  If she really can not stand to cook and doesn't mind handling everything else, why can't he help with the cooking?[/quote]

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