Reply to Should grandma go to birthday party or visit with newborn?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A couple things:

*grandma should’ve told birthday party kid’s parents that she really hopes to come to the party and is honored to be invited but that *if* other daughter goes into labor/has baby early, she’ll probably have to go there instead. This way bday party kid’s parents know what to expect. …

Grandma is the one who messed up in this situation. And likely grandma is the reason the 3 adult kids don’t get along. Too bad. [/quote]

I don’t feel like this is the kind of thing that needs to be said since it’s so obvious and any sister should be accommodating. The baby came early, and Grandma and sister have been estranged. She didn’t expect to be reached out and wants to make sure she accepts the peace offering. The grandkid will have a birthday every single year! She can do a FaceTime 
 with him to be there virtually when he cuts his cake etc.[/quote]

This.  If grandma and the mom who just gave birth had been on good terms, this would have all been worked out ahead of time (although perhaps not, since the baby came 3 weeks early which is unexpected).  But since they had not been on good terms, and this was an unexpected peace offering to visit them in the hospital- grandma declining would have probably permanently severed that relationship.  As dysfunctional as everyone here sounds, grandma made the only rational choice. Not because of emotional blackmail, but because this is what most normal families would do (prioritize the birth, reschedule the small family birthday party), it's just that the situation arrived unexpectedly in this family. [/quote]

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