Reply to Do you think we will see a massive uptick in women choosing to stay home after this?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have never met a SAHM who cares if anyone else works or not. The number of WOHMs here, however, that invent weird narratives about SAHMs who live pitiful existences and are miserably married is truly remarkable. No one accused you of anything, but the hostile attacks on SAHMs reeks of mom guilt. [/quote]

+1. I see nastiness on both sides, but the vitriol from the working moms is on another level. Thinking sahms are worthless, don’t contribute to society, really? You have to have a deep sense of self hatred and raging jealousy to have such strong feelings about anyone else. [/quote]

Nope, sorry, but you have blinders on.  There is SO much vitriol from stay at home moms who accuse working moms of "abandoning their kids in daycares" and ask why they bothered to have kids at all.  You sound like a fool for blaming one group more than the other.  [/quote]

I have been on both sides and it’s definitely nastier from WOH, 100%. UMC circle though where you don’t get a lot of SAHMs that don’t use housekeeper or preschool, so there’s not much of the “letting other people raise your kids” narrative since most use some form of childcare themselves and see the merits of it. [/quote]

+ 1
I feel a rage in many WOH moms. It ranges from calling SAHMs worthless, submissive, anti-feminists, doormats to accusing them of "riding the gravy train".  There are dire predictions that their DH's will leave them for a working woman, thereby leaving the SAHM and her kids destitute.  Then on other forums they are crying about being devalued at work, being incompetent, having a boss from hell. They cry about hating their husband, sexual dysfunction, being attracted to others and husband cheating. They are unhappy about their messy homes or behaviour problems with their kids. THey are stressed out and bitchy when they have to function on the weekends in any social capacity. They are also very dismissive of other WOHMs - no sympathy for a new WOHM who is trying to pump or breastfeed at work for example.  They are dismissive of other WOHMs who don't make enough money to outsource chores, and they are absolutely nasty to the other WOHMs who are cleaning their homes or looking after their children.

It is just RAGE, RAGE, RAGE...

[/quote]

I agree. I’ve always wondered why they get so triggered.

Like the PP who said something about meeting her kids at the door every day. It’s been quoted several times. If you are secure in your choice to work, why do you care that she thinks it’s a luxury worth paying for (in forgone she become) to greet her kids at the door?

Really, why do you care? I want to know. And don’t give me any crap about setting a bad example for her kids because that is dumb. Kids grow into adults who do what they want to do.[/quote]

I wondered about this too. That came up several times and it seems like one of the more innocuous things a SAHM can say.

She literally said, I’ve been both but SAH is better for MY kids because xyz reasons. She wants to greet her kids at the door and take them to their activities. Who cares? What’s wrong with that? No grand pronouncements on how daycare is evil or working moms aren’t raising their kids.[/quote]

Wow, you guys are dense.  The issue isn't that she said working moms are bad.  The issue, as multiple people noted, is that having the MOM do all the stuff is what some people want to model for their children.  If that mom does, fine.  But that doesn't mean that others aren't allowed to have other opinions.  You're really twisting all the comments together and ignoring the fact that multiple people have commented in a single thread, so it's not like someone making a nasty comment somewhere down the line is saying the same thing as someone who commented upstream.[/quote]

Just curious, do you give overweight parents a hard time about the unhealthy diet and exercise habits they’re modeling for their kids? Or the moms who overdo it on nightly wine consumption? If the answer is no, then ask yourself why you feel it’s any of your business to weigh in on other women’s employment choices.[/quote]

Actually, yes. I do judge overweight parents who don’t teach their kids about healthy eating and exercise. I also totally judge the “mommy juice” crowd who thinks it’s cute to drink wine all day. I’m not a perfect parent. But both my husband and I try really hard to model good behavior for our kids. Anyone who doesn’t think that’s how kids learn things is purposefully obtuse. [/quote]

I guarantee you someone else is judging you for the ways that you are “not a perfect parent.” There’s some things we can universally agree are good behaviors for us to model for our kids, but whether a mom is sahm or wohm is not one of them. There are moms who are thriving in both categories, and helping their families thrive too, and there are struggling sahms and wohms. It’s stupid to judge and only shows what a small and pathetic person you are.[/quote]

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