Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Provider”? Blech. Go back to the 50s

+100
Stop embarrassing yourself

The only thing embarrassing is not being able to attract a man who can take care of you and your kids.

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Anonymous wrote:I have never met a SAHM who cares if anyone else works or not. The number of WOHMs here, however, that invent weird narratives about SAHMs who live pitiful existences and are miserably married is truly remarkable. No one accused you of anything, but the hostile attacks on SAHMs reeks of mom guilt.

+1. I see nastiness on both sides, but the vitriol from the working moms is on another level. Thinking sahms are worthless, don’t contribute to society, really? You have to have a deep sense of self hatred and raging jealousy to have such strong feelings about anyone else.

Nope, sorry, but you have blinders on. There is SO much vitriol from stay at home moms who accuse working moms of "abandoning their kids in daycares" and ask why they bothered to have kids at all. You sound like a fool for blaming one group more than the other.

I have been on both sides and it’s definitely nastier from WOH, 100%. UMC circle though where you don’t get a lot of SAHMs that don’t use housekeeper or preschool, so there’s not much of the “letting other people raise your kids” narrative since most use some form of childcare themselves and see the merits of it.

+ 1
I feel a rage in many WOH moms. It ranges from calling SAHMs worthless, submissive, anti-feminists, doormats to accusing them of "riding the gravy train". There are dire predictions that their DH's will leave them for a working woman, thereby leaving the SAHM and her kids destitute. Then on other forums they are crying about being devalued at work, being incompetent, having a boss from hell. They cry about hating their husband, sexual dysfunction, being attracted to others and husband cheating. They are unhappy about their messy homes or behaviour problems with their kids. THey are stressed out and bitchy when they have to function on the weekends in any social capacity. They are also very dismissive of other WOHMs - no sympathy for a new WOHM who is trying to pump or breastfeed at work for example. They are dismissive of other WOHMs who don't make enough money to outsource chores, and they are absolutely nasty to the other WOHMs who are cleaning their homes or looking after their children.

It is just RAGE, RAGE, RAGE...

I agree. I’ve always wondered why they get so triggered.

Like the PP who said something about meeting her kids at the door every day. It’s been quoted several times. If you are secure in your choice to work, why do you care that she thinks it’s a luxury worth paying for (in forgone she become) to greet her kids at the door?

Really, why do you care? I want to know. And don’t give me any crap about setting a bad example for her kids because that is dumb. Kids grow into adults who do what they want to do.

I wondered about this too. That came up several times and it seems like one of the more innocuous things a SAHM can say.

She literally said, I’ve been both but SAH is better for MY kids because xyz reasons. She wants to greet her kids at the door and take them to their activities. Who cares? What’s wrong with that? No grand pronouncements on how daycare is evil or working moms aren’t raising their kids.

Wow, you guys are dense. The issue isn't that she said working moms are bad. The issue, as multiple people noted, is that having the MOM do all the stuff is what some people want to model for their children. If that mom does, fine. But that doesn't mean that others aren't allowed to have other opinions. You're really twisting all the comments together and ignoring the fact that multiple people have commented in a single thread, so it's not like someone making a nasty comment somewhere down the line is saying the same thing as someone who commented upstream.

Just curious, do you give overweight parents a hard time about the unhealthy diet and exercise habits they’re modeling for their kids? Or the moms who overdo it on nightly wine consumption? If the answer is no, then ask yourself why you feel it’s any of your business to weigh in on other women’s employment choices.

Actually, yes. I do judge overweight parents who don’t teach their kids about healthy eating and exercise. I also totally judge the “mommy juice” crowd who thinks it’s cute to drink wine all day. I’m not a perfect parent. But both my husband and I try really hard to model good behavior for our kids. Anyone who doesn’t think that’s how kids learn things is purposefully obtuse.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have never met a SAHM who cares if anyone else works or not. The number of WOHMs here, however, that invent weird narratives about SAHMs who live pitiful existences and are miserably married is truly remarkable. No one accused you of anything, but the hostile attacks on SAHMs reeks of mom guilt.

+1. I see nastiness on both sides, but the vitriol from the working moms is on another level. Thinking sahms are worthless, don’t contribute to society, really? You have to have a deep sense of self hatred and raging jealousy to have such strong feelings about anyone else.

Nope, sorry, but you have blinders on. There is SO much vitriol from stay at home moms who accuse working moms of "abandoning their kids in daycares" and ask why they bothered to have kids at all. You sound like a fool for blaming one group more than the other.

I have been on both sides and it’s definitely nastier from WOH, 100%. UMC circle though where you don’t get a lot of SAHMs that don’t use housekeeper or preschool, so there’s not much of the “letting other people raise your kids” narrative since most use some form of childcare themselves and see the merits of it.

+ 1
I feel a rage in many WOH moms. It ranges from calling SAHMs worthless, submissive, anti-feminists, doormats to accusing them of "riding the gravy train". There are dire predictions that their DH's will leave them for a working woman, thereby leaving the SAHM and her kids destitute. Then on other forums they are crying about being devalued at work, being incompetent, having a boss from hell. They cry about hating their husband, sexual dysfunction, being attracted to others and husband cheating. They are unhappy about their messy homes or behaviour problems with their kids. THey are stressed out and bitchy when they have to function on the weekends in any social capacity. They are also very dismissive of other WOHMs - no sympathy for a new WOHM who is trying to pump or breastfeed at work for example. They are dismissive of other WOHMs who don't make enough money to outsource chores, and they are absolutely nasty to the other WOHMs who are cleaning their homes or looking after their children.

It is just RAGE, RAGE, RAGE...

I agree. I’ve always wondered why they get so triggered.

Like the PP who said something about meeting her kids at the door every day. It’s been quoted several times. If you are secure in your choice to work, why do you care that she thinks it’s a luxury worth paying for (in forgone she become) to greet her kids at the door?

Really, why do you care? I want to know. And don’t give me any crap about setting a bad example for her kids because that is dumb. Kids grow into adults who do what they want to do.

I wondered about this too. That came up several times and it seems like one of the more innocuous things a SAHM can say.

She literally said, I’ve been both but SAH is better for MY kids because xyz reasons. She wants to greet her kids at the door and take them to their activities. Who cares? What’s wrong with that? No grand pronouncements on how daycare is evil or working moms aren’t raising their kids.

Wow, you guys are dense. The issue isn't that she said working moms are bad. The issue, as multiple people noted, is that having the MOM do all the stuff is what some people want to model for their children. If that mom does, fine. But that doesn't mean that others aren't allowed to have other opinions. You're really twisting all the comments together and ignoring the fact that multiple people have commented in a single thread, so it's not like someone making a nasty comment somewhere down the line is saying the same thing as someone who commented upstream.

Just curious, do you give overweight parents a hard time about the unhealthy diet and exercise habits they’re modeling for their kids? Or the moms who overdo it on nightly wine consumption? If the answer is no, then ask yourself why you feel it’s any of your business to weigh in on other women’s employment choices.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have never met a SAHM who cares if anyone else works or not. The number of WOHMs here, however, that invent weird narratives about SAHMs who live pitiful existences and are miserably married is truly remarkable. No one accused you of anything, but the hostile attacks on SAHMs reeks of mom guilt.

+1. I see nastiness on both sides, but the vitriol from the working moms is on another level. Thinking sahms are worthless, don’t contribute to society, really? You have to have a deep sense of self hatred and raging jealousy to have such strong feelings about anyone else.

Nope, sorry, but you have blinders on. There is SO much vitriol from stay at home moms who accuse working moms of "abandoning their kids in daycares" and ask why they bothered to have kids at all. You sound like a fool for blaming one group more than the other.

I have been on both sides and it’s definitely nastier from WOH, 100%. UMC circle though where you don’t get a lot of SAHMs that don’t use housekeeper or preschool, so there’s not much of the “letting other people raise your kids” narrative since most use some form of childcare themselves and see the merits of it.

+ 1
I feel a rage in many WOH moms. It ranges from calling SAHMs worthless, submissive, anti-feminists, doormats to accusing them of "riding the gravy train". There are dire predictions that their DH's will leave them for a working woman, thereby leaving the SAHM and her kids destitute. Then on other forums they are crying about being devalued at work, being incompetent, having a boss from hell. They cry about hating their husband, sexual dysfunction, being attracted to others and husband cheating. They are unhappy about their messy homes or behaviour problems with their kids. THey are stressed out and bitchy when they have to function on the weekends in any social capacity. They are also very dismissive of other WOHMs - no sympathy for a new WOHM who is trying to pump or breastfeed at work for example. They are dismissive of other WOHMs who don't make enough money to outsource chores, and they are absolutely nasty to the other WOHMs who are cleaning their homes or looking after their children.

It is just RAGE, RAGE, RAGE...

I agree. I’ve always wondered why they get so triggered.

Like the PP who said something about meeting her kids at the door every day. It’s been quoted several times. If you are secure in your choice to work, why do you care that she thinks it’s a luxury worth paying for (in forgone she become) to greet her kids at the door?

Really, why do you care? I want to know. And don’t give me any crap about setting a bad example for her kids because that is dumb. Kids grow into adults who do what they want to do.

I was one of the people who responded to the mom at the door. There were others, so it's not like I was the only one with that opinion. But in any event, I don't care what other people think. So if she thinks it's a luxury to greet her kids at the door every day then good for her. I'm all for women being in a position to choose what they want to do, whatever that is. However, I also happen to think that having both parents be present in kids' lives in very important. So to me, what I think, not that it should matter to anyone else, is that both parents should be the ones making dinner, taking their kids to activities, giving them baths, greeting that at the door. And your "crap about setting a bad example for her kids" isn't actually crap. Sure, kids can make conscious choices to be different than their parents, but many, many people grow up imitating what they saw from their parents. You're a fool if you completely discount that.

Door greeter mom here. My husband gets home at 6 or 6:30 on a normal (pre pandemic) day. So he’s home plenty. As soon as he gets home, we sit down to dinner together as a family. Our kids are old enough not to need help with baths anymore but back when they hey we’re little, he did his share of bath time and middle of the night feedings.

So your assumptions are totally off. Not every SAHM mom is married to an absentee father.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of the women need mental health help. The nasty "you can't attract a provider and you abandoned your baby to Bright Horizons" SAHM and the nasty engineer WOHM need to either both get help or just fight it out to the death.

+1

Good God. You can add the Bright Horizons video PP too.

Ladies, you need help. Seriously. What is wrong with you? Is your life so awful you need to do this?

is this what you do all day? Ignore the nasty posters that say things like “you’re not very bright,” and when they get a nasty response in return, play the outraged and sanctimonious harpy?

You both need serious help. You are trying to one up each other with the sick, nasty, cruel and twisted comments. You should seek treatment. Even on the internet, your behavior is not normal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of the women need mental health help. The nasty "you can't attract a provider and you abandoned your baby to Bright Horizons" SAHM and the nasty engineer WOHM need to either both get help or just fight it out to the death.

+1

Good God. You can add the Bright Horizons video PP too.

Ladies, you need help. Seriously. What is wrong with you? Is your life so awful you need to do this?

is this what you do all day? Ignore the nasty posters that say things like “you’re not very bright,” and when they get a nasty response in return, play the outraged and sanctimonious harpy?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of the women need mental health help. The nasty "you can't attract a provider and you abandoned your baby to Bright Horizons" SAHM and the nasty engineer WOHM need to either both get help or just fight it out to the death.

+1

Good God. You can add the Bright Horizons video PP too.

Ladies, you need help. Seriously. What is wrong with you? Is your life so awful you need to do this?

Anonymous wrote:Some of the women need mental health help. The nasty "you can't attract a provider and you abandoned your baby to Bright Horizons" SAHM and the nasty engineer WOHM need to either both get help or just fight it out to the death.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have never met a SAHM who cares if anyone else works or not. The number of WOHMs here, however, that invent weird narratives about SAHMs who live pitiful existences and are miserably married is truly remarkable. No one accused you of anything, but the hostile attacks on SAHMs reeks of mom guilt.

+1. I see nastiness on both sides, but the vitriol from the working moms is on another level. Thinking sahms are worthless, don’t contribute to society, really? You have to have a deep sense of self hatred and raging jealousy to have such strong feelings about anyone else.

Nope, sorry, but you have blinders on. There is SO much vitriol from stay at home moms who accuse working moms of "abandoning their kids in daycares" and ask why they bothered to have kids at all. You sound like a fool for blaming one group more than the other.

I have been on both sides and it’s definitely nastier from WOH, 100%. UMC circle though where you don’t get a lot of SAHMs that don’t use housekeeper or preschool, so there’s not much of the “letting other people raise your kids” narrative since most use some form of childcare themselves and see the merits of it.

+ 1
I feel a rage in many WOH moms. It ranges from calling SAHMs worthless, submissive, anti-feminists, doormats to accusing them of "riding the gravy train". There are dire predictions that their DH's will leave them for a working woman, thereby leaving the SAHM and her kids destitute. Then on other forums they are crying about being devalued at work, being incompetent, having a boss from hell. They cry about hating their husband, sexual dysfunction, being attracted to others and husband cheating. They are unhappy about their messy homes or behaviour problems with their kids. THey are stressed out and bitchy when they have to function on the weekends in any social capacity. They are also very dismissive of other WOHMs - no sympathy for a new WOHM who is trying to pump or breastfeed at work for example. They are dismissive of other WOHMs who don't make enough money to outsource chores, and they are absolutely nasty to the other WOHMs who are cleaning their homes or looking after their children.

It is just RAGE, RAGE, RAGE...

I agree. I’ve always wondered why they get so triggered.

Like the PP who said something about meeting her kids at the door every day. It’s been quoted several times. If you are secure in your choice to work, why do you care that she thinks it’s a luxury worth paying for (in forgone she become) to greet her kids at the door?

Really, why do you care? I want to know. And don’t give me any crap about setting a bad example for her kids because that is dumb. Kids grow into adults who do what they want to do.

I wondered about this too. That came up several times and it seems like one of the more innocuous things a SAHM can say.

She literally said, I’ve been both but SAH is better for MY kids because xyz reasons. She wants to greet her kids at the door and take them to their activities. Who cares? What’s wrong with that? No grand pronouncements on how daycare is evil or working moms aren’t raising their kids.

Wow, you guys are dense. The issue isn't that she said working moms are bad. The issue, as multiple people noted, is that having the MOM do all the stuff is what some people want to model for their children. If that mom does, fine. But that doesn't mean that others aren't allowed to have other opinions. You're really twisting all the comments together and ignoring the fact that multiple people have commented in a single thread, so it's not like someone making a nasty comment somewhere down the line is saying the same thing as someone who commented upstream.

Just curious, do you give overweight parents a hard time about the unhealthy diet and exercise habits they’re modeling for their kids? Or the moms who overdo it on nightly wine consumption? If the answer is no, then ask yourself why you feel it’s any of your business to weigh in on other women’s employment choices.

+1 what a weird argument. My mom was SAHM my whole life and went back to work and eventually became a senior executive after I went to college. I never thought she was lazy or incapable of working. She took care of me and taught me to read and write; she was there for me after school and read books to me even as a teenager. She is very smart and I have a lot of respect for her. My DH and I decided early on that we did not want daycare for our children. It doesn’t make anyone else’s choices invalid. I’m not sure why all the hate in SAHMs here.

Well you don’t sound very bright, so there’s that.

Aw, you sound sad. I’m sure Bright Horizons loves your baby, don’t take it personally.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have never met a SAHM who cares if anyone else works or not. The number of WOHMs here, however, that invent weird narratives about SAHMs who live pitiful existences and are miserably married is truly remarkable. No one accused you of anything, but the hostile attacks on SAHMs reeks of mom guilt.

+1. I see nastiness on both sides, but the vitriol from the working moms is on another level. Thinking sahms are worthless, don’t contribute to society, really? You have to have a deep sense of self hatred and raging jealousy to have such strong feelings about anyone else.

Nope, sorry, but you have blinders on. There is SO much vitriol from stay at home moms who accuse working moms of "abandoning their kids in daycares" and ask why they bothered to have kids at all. You sound like a fool for blaming one group more than the other.

I have been on both sides and it’s definitely nastier from WOH, 100%. UMC circle though where you don’t get a lot of SAHMs that don’t use housekeeper or preschool, so there’s not much of the “letting other people raise your kids” narrative since most use some form of childcare themselves and see the merits of it.

+ 1
I feel a rage in many WOH moms. It ranges from calling SAHMs worthless, submissive, anti-feminists, doormats to accusing them of "riding the gravy train". There are dire predictions that their DH's will leave them for a working woman, thereby leaving the SAHM and her kids destitute. Then on other forums they are crying about being devalued at work, being incompetent, having a boss from hell. They cry about hating their husband, sexual dysfunction, being attracted to others and husband cheating. They are unhappy about their messy homes or behaviour problems with their kids. THey are stressed out and bitchy when they have to function on the weekends in any social capacity. They are also very dismissive of other WOHMs - no sympathy for a new WOHM who is trying to pump or breastfeed at work for example. They are dismissive of other WOHMs who don't make enough money to outsource chores, and they are absolutely nasty to the other WOHMs who are cleaning their homes or looking after their children.

It is just RAGE, RAGE, RAGE...

I agree. I’ve always wondered why they get so triggered.

Like the PP who said something about meeting her kids at the door every day. It’s been quoted several times. If you are secure in your choice to work, why do you care that she thinks it’s a luxury worth paying for (in forgone she become) to greet her kids at the door?

Really, why do you care? I want to know. And don’t give me any crap about setting a bad example for her kids because that is dumb. Kids grow into adults who do what they want to do.

I wondered about this too. That came up several times and it seems like one of the more innocuous things a SAHM can say.

She literally said, I’ve been both but SAH is better for MY kids because xyz reasons. She wants to greet her kids at the door and take them to their activities. Who cares? What’s wrong with that? No grand pronouncements on how daycare is evil or working moms aren’t raising their kids.

Wow, you guys are dense. The issue isn't that she said working moms are bad. The issue, as multiple people noted, is that having the MOM do all the stuff is what some people want to model for their children. If that mom does, fine. But that doesn't mean that others aren't allowed to have other opinions. You're really twisting all the comments together and ignoring the fact that multiple people have commented in a single thread, so it's not like someone making a nasty comment somewhere down the line is saying the same thing as someone who commented upstream.

Just curious, do you give overweight parents a hard time about the unhealthy diet and exercise habits they’re modeling for their kids? Or the moms who overdo it on nightly wine consumption? If the answer is no, then ask yourself why you feel it’s any of your business to weigh in on other women’s employment choices.

+1 what a weird argument. My mom was SAHM my whole life and went back to work and eventually became a senior executive after I went to college. I never thought she was lazy or incapable of working. She took care of me and taught me to read and write; she was there for me after school and read books to me even as a teenager. She is very smart and I have a lot of respect for her. My DH and I decided early on that we did not want daycare for our children. It doesn’t make anyone else’s choices invalid. I’m not sure why all the hate in SAHMs here.

Well you don’t sound very bright, so there’s that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m so confused. How could this make anyone think anything other than every family should have 2 secure sources of income and insurance?

+10000

It’s fine to want to be a SAHM in normal times (Of kids before elementary; after that it’s just ridiculous) but now? Why on earth would that be better?