Reply to Do you think we will see a massive uptick in women choosing to stay home after this?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have never met a SAHM who cares if anyone else works or not. The number of WOHMs here, however, that invent weird narratives about SAHMs who live pitiful existences and are miserably married is truly remarkable. No one accused you of anything, but the hostile attacks on SAHMs reeks of mom guilt. [/quote]

+1. I see nastiness on both sides, but the vitriol from the working moms is on another level. Thinking sahms are worthless, don’t contribute to society, really? You have to have a deep sense of self hatred and raging jealousy to have such strong feelings about anyone else. [/quote]

Nope, sorry, but you have blinders on.  There is SO much vitriol from stay at home moms who accuse working moms of "abandoning their kids in daycares" and ask why they bothered to have kids at all.  You sound like a fool for blaming one group more than the other.  [/quote]

I have been on both sides and it’s definitely nastier from WOH, 100%. UMC circle though where you don’t get a lot of SAHMs that don’t use housekeeper or preschool, so there’s not much of the “letting other people raise your kids” narrative since most use some form of childcare themselves and see the merits of it. [/quote]

+ 1
I feel a rage in many WOH moms. It ranges from calling SAHMs worthless, submissive, anti-feminists, doormats to accusing them of "riding the gravy train".  There are dire predictions that their DH's will leave them for a working woman, thereby leaving the SAHM and her kids destitute.  Then on other forums they are crying about being devalued at work, being incompetent, having a boss from hell. They cry about hating their husband, sexual dysfunction, being attracted to others and husband cheating. They are unhappy about their messy homes or behaviour problems with their kids. THey are stressed out and bitchy when they have to function on the weekends in any social capacity. They are also very dismissive of other WOHMs - no sympathy for a new WOHM who is trying to pump or breastfeed at work for example.  They are dismissive of other WOHMs who don't make enough money to outsource chores, and they are absolutely nasty to the other WOHMs who are cleaning their homes or looking after their children.

It is just RAGE, RAGE, RAGE...

[/quote]

I agree. I’ve always wondered why they get so triggered.

Like the PP who said something about meeting her kids at the door every day. It’s been quoted several times. If you are secure in your choice to work, why do you care that she thinks it’s a luxury worth paying for (in forgone she become) to greet her kids at the door?

Really, why do you care? I want to know. And don’t give me any crap about setting a bad example for her kids because that is dumb. Kids grow into adults who do what they want to do.[/quote]

I was one of the people who responded to the mom at the door.  There were others, so it's not like I was the only one with that opinion.  But in any event, I don't care what other people think.  So if she thinks it's a luxury to greet her kids at the door every day then good for her.  I'm all for women being in a position to choose what they want to do, whatever that is.  However, I also happen to think that having both parents be present in kids' lives in very important.  So to me, what I think, not that it should matter to anyone else, is that both parents should be the ones making dinner, taking their kids to activities, giving them baths, greeting that at the door.  And your "crap about setting a bad example for her kids" isn't actually crap.  Sure, kids can make conscious choices to be different than their parents, but many, many people grow up imitating what they saw from their parents.  You're a fool if you completely discount that.[/quote]

Door greeter mom here. My husband gets home at 6 or 6:30 on a normal (pre pandemic) day. So he’s home plenty. As soon as he gets home, we sit down to dinner together as a family. Our kids are old enough not to need help with baths anymore but back when they hey we’re little, he did his share of bath time and middle of the night feedings.

So your assumptions are totally off. Not every SAHM mom is married to an absentee father. [/quote]

So, he’s not taking the kids to after-school activities. He’s not making dinner. He’s not greeting them at the door. Your post doesn’t change anything. [/quote]

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