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[quote=Anonymous]OP, thanks for updating. You did the right thing to tell him to stop AND to tell the girl she should inform an adult if it happens again. And sadly, it will happen again when you're not there. Even if there are zero sexual overtones, she is still learning the her "no" has no power and that it's simply easier to "go along to get along" so that eventually brother will tire of bullying her and move on. That will end up with her thinking the same when a boy eventually pressures her for sex. Poor girl. (And yes, this absolutely is the definition of bullying--repeated targeting and ongoing harassing.)

Is there any way you can play the "aunt" figure and take the girl places, do occasional things with just her/your kids, without asking brother to come too? Or would the mom insist that DD mustn't go on any outing that doesn't include brother too "because that's not fair"--? It could help this girl to have times when she is away from bully brother and enabler/clueless parents, times when she can do things that SHE likes without fearing he will loom over her any minute. Can you ask to take her on some outings calculated to be things she'd like but he'd hate, so mom won't pull the "fairness" card? The girl desperately needs mentors who will build her up and help her feel she can defy brother's demands. Is she in any activities? I know she's not your own kid so you can't approach her teachers or Girl Scout leaders or coaches etc. But I sure hope she has some kind of brother-free activities with observant adult leaders. As a longtime GS leader I know I'd be working in activities about speaking up and anti-bullying tactics if I observed what you've observed.

You said the mom said the girl would get her own room this past weekend on the trip you all took. Do you know if that actually happened or if mom was just placating you and DD still had to share with her brother?

The horrible thing: When bullies are at school, at least a child can have some respite from them at home. This girl's bully is at home and no night or weekend or vacation gives her a break from her bully.

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