Reply to Can someone explain the mentality of never being proactive or organized to me?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am in charge of 95%+ of the household admin and am the main breadwinner. I am constantly resentful bc I am always either working, doing admin or at best telling dh to do things bc he does not initiate the need to do or buy anything that needs to be bought or happen. He took ds to an 8th birthday party today while I took other dc on overnight for travel sport. I reminded him multiple times about party and that he would need a gift; he said he would get the gift. ds tells me this evening that they were late to the party bc dh overslept and had no gift so gave kid money in envelope. 
yes dh has adhd. yes is on meds. 
I just don't get the mentality. Is it an assumption that I'll just do it? Or weaponized incompetence or like - what is benefit to dh of being like this? I do not understand. [/quote]

Does anyone do the below at work or at home? Doesn't everyone do this? I do. My siblings do.

The Four Pillars of Personal Agency
Full-fledged agency requires believing you can achieve your goal and engaging in the following activities:

* Forethought: deciding to take on a challenge, thinking ahead, setting goals, and making plans.
* Implementation: taking first steps, enacting plans, and persisting toward success.
* Self-management: taking care of yourself, dealing with emotions and stress, and maintaining good health to sustain your efforts.
* Learning and adapting: monitoring progress, rethinking strategies and tactics, and making effective adjustments.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/getting-proactive/202203/agency-is-the-highest-level-personal-competence#:~:text=Key%20points.%20Human%20agency%20is%20a?msockid=06f63b076e916c7a057328076f996db2
[/quote]

DH only does the third one and if that one falls by the wayside things get really dicy.

I do all the rest and efforts to get him to do any of them (even for himself much less for our kids or family) have been futile.[/quote]

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