Reply to Millennial women are saying no thanks to parenthood

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s weird how angry it seems to make some people when a woman chooses not to have children.  Maybe she wanted to but didn’t find the right guy (or didn’t find the right guy in time)?  Maybe she wanted to but was afraid of burdening her theoretical offspring with heritable mental or physical illnesses?  Maybe she hates kids?  Maybe she lives kids but thinks she’d be a terrible mother?

Women aren’t choosing not to have kids AT YOU.  This thread is bonkers.[/quote]

On any individual level, you are right.  But on a social/generational level, it is all our business. Because people with no family and kids will be more reliant on society and our tax dollars.  Maybe it's because I come from a society with a strong emphasis on family.  The expectation is that family takes care of each other. We don't rely on government help or policy.  That attitude makes us, as a family unit, more resilient to the ups and downs of modern life and economic surprises.  So yeah, when I see people freely choose to shun family (cutting off "toxic" family or not having kids when they can), I think it's selfish.  And then when I hear all the people protesting for more government handouts and welfare, I get pretty annoyed.  We are responsible for our own success and security in this life and family is the number one factor in obtaining that security.

Again, caveat about individual circumstances.  But i think it's clear as a whole people are becoming more selfish and focusing more on themselves. [/quote]

People are behaving rationally. We live in a late capitalism where basic living is very expensive, housing  and education expenses are though the rough and wages are stagnant. Wealth is horded at the top. Covid really exposed to me that there is almost no social safety net. No one is going to give a shit about my kids but me and mine. I did not feel resilient during covid. I felt very isolated having two young children at home and almost no resources and still being expected to work like I didn't have children.

I don't blame younger people for deciding they don't want to bring children into this world. That if our society is selfish the most rational choice is to be selfish too.

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But my whole point was that family is your safety net. Yes kids are a pain but they grow up to be adults, who hopefully will at least offer emotional support. When I am old and there is covid 100.0, I would rather have kids around to depend on (even if to just talk to), than to be alone. In my mind, the more I am on my own and feel like no one cares a crap about me, the more I want to make sure I have family. I guess we just think differently.[/quote]

My friends are in their 50's / 60's and women friends are way more "helpful" and supportive than children or even husbands. After many having illnesses it's the community you create that is where you get emotional support.

Kids are off to college, living elsewhere, working hard, little leave, raising their own children, etc.

It's not kids.... maybe a sister but never kids. [/quote]

Yes I agree not always kids. But you have a sister because your parents decided to have a decent sized family. And I agree kids are not that helpful but that is because that is the message they have received (the whole point of this thread): look out for themselves first.[/quote]

I don't have a sister, I have 5 brothers and they are useless, and so are some people's sisters.

Kids are not helpful because they saw their parents best years ruined by being chained to home taking care of an irresponsible parent who did not play for retirement. Both the parents and the kids don't want this. Make your own life... it's no different than birthing children to work the farm, you can't birth children to care for you. Plan better. [/quote]

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