Reply to YouTube Influencer Myka Stauffer "rehomes" adopted son

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Reply to "YouTube Influencer Myka Stauffer "rehomes" adopted son"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have no idea what is going on with him.  I think these parents never should have used him in the way they did, or violated his privacy the way they did.  I think they made some big mistakes attachment wise in the beginning, based on the few videos I watched, but I can't say how or whether those things contributed.

But I will also say, as someone who has taught preschoolers and early elementary school aged students with severe emotional disturbance, the kids judged as too violent and unsafe for public schools at 4 or 5, and placed in therapeutic placements, that k[b]ids with an attachment component to their emotional disability can look very regulated and connected in some situations, in a way that kids with other mental health diagnoses usually don't.[/b]  So, the fact that sometimes he was calm on camera, doesn't predict how he behaved in other situations.  If anything, the fact that they didn't put footage of violent or disregulated behavior on the internet is to their credit, assuming that such footage exists. [/quote]

I am not an expert, but there have been several international adoptions in my family of fairly disturbed special needs children, and it was at least always guessed that this was basically trained by the agencies from very, very young ages in order for them to appeal to potential adoptive parents. You get a lot of "cute" videos for a long time and the situation changes rapidly once they are in the adoptive home. I can see this mom filming the "good and cute" but wouldn't assume that means the behind the scenes isn't a different story. [/quote]

I don't know that I'd say "trained" but kids learn the behaviors that keep them alive.  Being cute, and charming, and well behaved with new people is the behavior that gets kids attention and food in an orphanage, or in situations where kids are changing home frequently.  And on the other hand, allowing people to comfort you, or expecting them to be there for you always, is what gets you very very hurt.  So, kids protect themselves by pushing away the people who are consistently there, while "shopping' for new moms all the time.

I don't know that the agencies are intentionally creating this situation.  I think it's just a natural byproduct of having too many kids and too many changes in caregivers. [/quote]

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