Reply to How can you cheat and not think about how it will affect your kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote] So you dad told you who he is, and is not, having sex with? Otherwise how exactly did he lie to you? 
As to putting energy elsewhere: his romantic sexual energy has NOTHING to do with his children, and your mom did not want this energy, therefore nobody in the family was cheated of anything. 
Again, it's YOU who has some weird issue here, confusing an adult's sexual behavior with their child relations. These are totally unrelated (excluding incestuous pedophiles).[/quote]

You sound like a narcissist with terrible reasoning abilities.  In our society, kids who live with married parents generally assume their parents are in a monogamous relationship.  When they find out that’s not true and one parent secretaries tge other, it rocks the kids’ world.  This really isn’t hard to understand.  Stop pretending that everyone’s life is full of neat little boxes, just because that’s what you need to do to rationalize your crappy behavior.[/quote]

That "assumed married in monogamous relationship" includes a reciprocal presumption that parents are, you know, actually having sex with each other. Because people are not monogamous with a sexually inactive partner. If, as you believe, kids CARE about their parents' marital sexual status, then their world should be equally rocked when told one spouse is sexless, which totally explains why the normal libido spouse is going elsewhere.

Stop pretending that kids really know (or care) what goes on with their parents' sex life.[/quote]

You truly are a tool.

It is not about the sex you simpleton.  It is about the lies and deceit.  That is what will have an affect on your children.  [/quote]

Different poster but I agree with PP: kids do not and should not care about their parents’ sex lives whether marital or extramarital.
A cheating spouse is deceitful to the spouse—not the child.
Marriage is between husband and wife. Not parent and child. 
A reality check of what is pretend and what is not is not just with cheating.
Stop making marriage just about faithfulness or lack thereof. It is more complex.
Some people cheat to leave. Some people cheat to stay in a marriage. Regardless, sex has nothing to do with kids. People who involve their kids and disclose an affair to purposefully harm the relationship with the other parent is far worse than a cheater. [/quote]

You are a tool too and completely missed my point.  Kids are going to be affected by the deceit.  It is not complex.

It is not about the sex it is about the lies.  Children look at, process and understand the world differently than adults.  When they hear that mom and dad are no longer going to be married because mom/dad has chosen some one else.  All children see is that mom/dad don’t love me and would rather be with another family.  Children do not care about sexless marriages or low libido spouses or built up resentment.  What they will care about is the one person who is suppose to protect me I can no longer trust.[/quote]

You are still not getting it. Cheating has nothing to do with kids. They can still trust a parent. 
You seem to have a narrow idea of what cheating looks like. Many do not divorce. Many are not caught. I think it is relatively rare where a cheating spouse leaves and immediately takes up with another partner. That happens but it is more rare than you think. That happened to my uncle/cousins. Kids are adults now—guess what? Everyone turned out fine—kids successful, well-adjusted adults now. No one resents their dad. All still close. Kids get over this even in the worst scenario, which for some reason you assume is the norm. It is not.[/quote]
DP.. you're in denial. Ask family therapists what the cheating does to the kids.  Divorce is hard on the kids, but when it involves infidelity, it's even harder.

Your experience is anecdotal.  Look at the research.[/quote]

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