Reply to Sister says 14yo nephew not coming to my wedding because of his sports tournament. Thoughts?

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Reply to "Sister says 14yo nephew not coming to my wedding because of his sports tournament. Thoughts?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He was 99. The funeral was a celebration of his life. Our grandfather was a fun and caring man. The 10 year old can understand funny stories about a person's life. People gave speeches at the funeral about how great he was at his business and taking care of employees, with family, and with friends. My 10 year old is able to understand most of these stories. Sorry yours isn't. And either way, a 10 year olds basketball tournament is not that important. Even if he didn't understand all the stories, he would have spent time with his entire extended family and his cousins which I think is still more important than a 10 year olds tournament.[/quote]

I don't believe you. Ask you child in 10 years 1 story about your grandfather, he won't know one. [/quote]

Whether an actual story is remembered or not, is not the point. My child will know where his great grandfather is buried, will have memories of the funeral, and will remember that he was admired and loved. He will feel that the great grandfather was part of his life a little more than if he didn't attend. You seriously would have your child miss a funeral of a their last great grandparent for a basketball tournament? I actually don't even think it was a tournament. Just a game. Like it matters either way.[/quote]

I am sorry but you are wrong. If you child knows anything about his great grandfather it is because you have pictures of him around the house, you have family over on a regular basis and your tell the same story over and over and over again.

A child does not know this from 1 day when he was 10. If it was important to you to have him there, great, that is more about you than him. But your imagination of how this 1 event will affect your child is overstated.[/quote]

Maybe what makes the impression on the child then is the values of family events and what that means and how it can keep families together. My family is different and spends a lot of time together, so missing a family event like a wedding or funeral  is a big deal (even though you would think it would be less of a big deal because we do see each other a lot) but missing everyday things, bday parties or even holidays sometimes (because of marriages etc). Anyway I think that might be where PP is coming from?[/quote]

My family is different and spends a lot of time together, so missing 1 family event is not a big deal. .... cousins are like brothers/sisters... I guess it would be a big deal if my kids never saw extended family. I think it is the everyday interactions that are more important and less forced. [/quote]

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