Reply to To my husband’s work AP

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]"Won't someone please think of the homewreckers!?" --DCUM cheaters (or wannabe cheaters) thinking it's perfectly fine for OP's life to be destroyed, but don't dare hurt the people who were the destroyers.

The moment you cheat on your spouse, is the moment you forego any consideration by your spouse.  The spouse who has been betrayed, gets to decide how they react, not some stranger whose own marriage is undoubtedly unhappy and you empathize w/ a cheater because you are one or want to be one.

OP, don't do anything before you really think about it, but ultimately, do what you think is best for you and your family.[/quote]

I think people are thinking about the OW's husband. OP seems to be gleeful about wrecking that marriage without regard to the innocent people involved. I, for one, am not sure I'd want to know if my spouse were cheating. [/quote]

The cheating whore had zero regard to the innocent wife and kids.
[/quote]

You seem to miss the point. The OW's husband is an innocent party here, and OP is getting her revenge at his expense. [b]She is pretending that she's doing it in part to help him[/b], but the reality is that she is doing it for spite and without regard to the OW's husband. That's selfish. It makes OP less sympathetic.
[/quote]
I disagree. There are a few people who say they wouldn't want to know their partner is cheating, but the vast majority seem to want to know. It's not getting revenge at his expense - it's giving him the option to liberate himself from a cheating whore who doesnt respect him or their marriage vows. It's not pretending to help him - it IS helping him. If he chooses to stay, he chooses with full knowledge of what shes done and capable of. He can adjust expectations accordingly. Keeping him in the dark only benefits the cheaters. Don't be a cheater and you dont have to worry about it. [/quote]

100%

Cheating wives are often secretly plotting divorce for when kids go to college or lining things up for a hopeful exit affair.  They are positioning themselves to get spouses $$, even meeting attornies and will use the “grew apart” while he is hit out of the blue and zero agency or knowledge she has been cheating.  Some are even siphoning $ off.

It’s best they know. [/quote]

I think this an advantage that women have over men. We men see it as being wrong but I wish men thought similarly. Women are very disciplined and patient planners. They will analyze every possible scenario, look at every option, think about the future, I mean anything you can think off before she files for divorce. A man can think about a divorce on Monday and the next day without planning asks the wife. Women unless they are in a very abusive relationship and the last abusive event was the last thing they could deal with will not wake wake up and suddenly file for divorce.

Women will often claim they gave their DHs many chances and "hints". Most even when they specially threaten divorce they will do it in a way that men are just clueless they are carefully planning for a divorce, the warning is part of risk management.

Perhaps it is an innate skill that women have that allow them to patiently plan this way.[/quote]

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