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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I tried to push my kid academically when she was younger and I think I have contributed to her teenage depression and anxiety. I now gently encourage but no more pressure.[/quote]

This is not true. She probably would have depression or anxiety even if you didn't push her. PP, please don't blame yourself for your daughter's mental health issues. [/quote]

Oh sweetie you need to do a little research on how parents are the main reason for their kid's mental health issues.  [/quote]

I agree with this based on observing the community around me - at least in most cases.  Often it's a matter of degree.  The underlying issue would be there no matter what (a genetic/chemical tendency towards anxiety or depression) but the parents' behavior (pressure/demands) escalates the underlying issue rather than difuses it.

But I don't have any research to back this up.  Would you be willing to share a source or two?

(I think Wendy Grolnick's work speaks to this, but I'm not sure.  https://www.amazon.com/Psychology-Parental-Control-Well-meant-Parenting/dp/0805835415 )[/quote]

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You are gross, PP. We know many families where one kid is perfectly mentally fine and the other kid has severe depression or anxiety. Blaming parents for their kids' mental health issues is disgusting. [/quote]

Read what I wrote - GENETICS + environment.

Siblings share sone genes but certainly not all. One may have a genetic predisposition while the other sibling doesn’t.

For the sibling who does not have the predisposition, parental behavior likely won’t have an influence on mental health (unless it’s awful, traumatic parental behavior, and no one is talking about this here!!)

But for the sibling who is genetically predisposed to depression/anxiety, I think it’s crazy to be so certain parental behavior has no impact.  Just as positive interventions can help steer things in a healthy direction, loving but misguided behavior could have a negative impact.

Nothing about this is talking about all kids and all parents.

But if a child is genetically predisposed to anxiety/depression, [b]I think it’s irresponsible and outright cruel for parents to intentionally apply strong and consistent pressure on a kid to achieve with academics or sports (or popularity or appearance/weight). In that case, yes, the parent is doing harm.[/b] [/quote]

LMAO! You are insane. Expecting your kid to do well in school is not contributing to their anxiety and depression. Actually, having high expectations of kids has been shown to benefit their mental health and self-esteem. [/quote]

It’s all in the execution though.[/quote]

Be specific pls. For example, one pp mentioned removing screen time privilege if not straight As, how will that impact kids mental health? The following discussions seem to indicate that it will hurt the kids in the long run. How exactly to have high expectations while without any external positive or negative feedbacks? Just do nothing and trust capable kids would naturally want to study and keep good grades? What’s if the kids internal drive points to video games or social media? [/quote]

Parents should be careful punishing the outcome (lack of an A).  What should matter is the effort.  If my kid does not do well because they blow off assignments etc., Then I think that is when consequences should come in and NOT if they get a B etc after hard work.[/quote]

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