Reply to He runs with her 5-6 days a week.

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "He runs with her 5-6 days a week. "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]I can't speak to the therapist's intent behind the statements about the link between the alcoholism and cheating, but I think it's not helpful to think of the alcoholism as causing or excusing his lying and relationship outside your marriage (be it emotional or physical).

Your DH is a practiced liar.  What you know about so far is the relationship with this woman and a drinking problem.  Whatever mental health and brain issues he has that manifest as alcoholism can easily go hand-in-hand with other addictive behaviors like seeking extra-marital positive feelings about himself.  It's all very concerning.

It's not insurmountable, but this is a long-haul thing (if you even want to try).  I suggest thinking long and hard about what YOU want and do not rely on his statements about what he wants as any kind of guarantee or guide as to what you want.  Read and research about alcoholism, addiction, lying, affairs.  Recovery is possible but most people go back to these behaviors (despite saying "never again" and meaning it at the time), even if temporarily.  Can you live with more of this?  Can you live with the doubts and be happy?

To me the signs that he's all-in on the marriage sound like more gung-ho addictive behavior.  He's all over the place.  He went from daily romantic contact over an extended period with another woman to being super present in your and the kids' lives?  How long is that going to last and be satisfying for him?  Can you accept that he was pouring his emotional resources into another woman for so long and now like a rubber band has snapped back and it goes to you now?  For how long?[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics