Reply to Defaulted into main breadwinner

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Defaulted into main breadwinner"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote]If you want the wife to pull it together, you can't simply bet on it by crossing your fingers. You have to define your expectations, often and loudly. People choose paths that are most comfortable for them. Why would his wife move away from the current arrangement, where she doesn't have to cook or clean, or communicate legibly about her feelings and plans? It's a great gig, dude. Simply stop working. Do as little as you can get away with. When questioned, cry. Why change if no one demands it? The husband seemingly decided to just take it. Why change?[/quote]

Because at a certain point, the kids will get older. The distraction is an obvious one, but one with an expiration date. Sure, OP could bail now, but by agreeing to let the wife have it her way, he is taking a leap of faith that she will get herself together. OP, the PP have a point. You do need to tell your wife what you decided and how you feel.

And if the wife had a career and drive, it doesn't make sense that it would disappear without some reason. Giving her space to figure that out is easier than pushing things and letting them crash. Believe me, I literally went through something similar with my ex. It didn't work out but I think my impatience added to things. The wife's lot doesn't sound like a picnic, so I don't know why people think she is a winner here.

And honestly, for guys who really want a family life, like OP, divorce really sucks. He isn't getting custody if that happens and his income is going to be burned by supporting two households (from my experience, the husband who really is fair about child support is going to have to cut back on his own quality of life).  And when it comes to time, which OP really wants, being a divorced dad is pretty much the worse way to get that. Particularly one with a demanding job.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics