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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t know. I have a weird, anxious, super introverted kid I love. They’re awesome. They don’t play sports. Never have. Husband and I don’t either. We walk for exercise. I don’t get this obsession everyone has with team sports. It’s strange. Adults around me still flying their Virginia Tech signs like it matters? You’re 45.

My kid takes pretty much all AP and honors courses, but that’s because she does well at them. That’s the only place where my “pushing” really works…to make her keep the grades up. Otherwise, most of my pushing is focused on my kid making more friends, which is really hard got them—and the pushing doesn’t even work. I’m always telling myself I’m going to stop, and then I find myself doing it again.

I have a pretty weird relationship with my parents, who I know loved me, but have always made me feel like I’m disappointing. They expected great things out of me, and I’m just an average person, and they never really let me forget it. I would rather not have that kind of relationship with my own child.

As my child gets closer to college, I’m also starting to wonder what all the insanity is for. Someone told me their kid was applying to Vanderbilt and it’s really hard to get into Vanderbilt, and I was like…is it? I mean, who cares? Is it really going to matter that much in the long run? That’s how I’m starting to see a lot of things. I have a friend who has such a great relationship with his family. And they are just supportive and non judgmental, and man….I hope my could end up having that kind of relationship with me. I think some people are naturally going to be gregarious and put themselves out there, and some people aren’t like that. And that’s my god created computer science.[/quote]

I agree with most of what you’re saying, but part of the reason your kids are having difficulty making friends is because they aren’t involved in sports and sounds like not other activities. You’re missing the whole aspect of community (e.g. flying tech signs)…and as long as you’re totally dismissive of that your kids will have a hard time with friendships, and will also struggle as adults.[/quote]

Nah....I wasn't into sports nor was my husband. We had geeky and artsy friends. We played a lot of trivial pursuit, poker, smoked a lot of clove cigarettes, talked politics. My kid has those kinds of friends too (minus the cigarettes), but I think the difference is the internet. They never NEED to leave their rooms.

The crazy poster who said I was an ungrateful brat because I never achieved amazing things? I mean, I got multiple advanced degrees but they weren't in a high paying field. I wrote a few novels, but they never got published. I think my parents wanted me to become famous or accomplished in any field I chose, and that is just very rare. I probably should not have stayed home raising a child for as long as I did, but hindsight is 20/20. Really, all you should hope for is that your kid is healthy, able to take care of themselves and reasonably happy. They should not need to be rich or famous for you to proud of them and love them. [/quote]

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