Reply to Whitman Teacher and Crew Coach Arrested

Forum Index » Montgomery County Public Schools (MCPS)

Reply to "Whitman Teacher and Crew Coach Arrested"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm a little uncomfortable with the suggestion that the victims' parents weren't sufficiently on the case. Obviously, the Whitman parent who showed up in the zoom and made clear she monitored the communications deterred Shipley from pursuing her daughter as a victim.  But I had three athletes go through Whitman, and I think [b]each of them would have been uncomfortable with me getting between them and their coaches in this way.  WW Football made it clear--we don't want to hear from parents if your kid isn't getting the look or the playtime[/b].  The relationship has to be between player and coach, etc.  That instilled in me early on a hands-off approach.  To be clear, we absolutely need to change the system and heighten awareness of these terrible grooming situations.  But without having heightened that awareness, and while we're still learning, I don't think it's okay to smugly blame the parents of these girls or to suggest they weren't sufficiently on the case.

[/quote]

This is made clear to our non-Whitman crew team as well - parents are not welcome to contact coaches under any circumstances.  This has left girls on our team dealing on their own with issues of abuse vis-a-vis their coaches -- which puts them in a disempowered position.  But, there is a difference between an adult going to the coach because they don't think their kid is getting playing time and that coach having a right to have coach/student only communication.  IMO, it is possible to communicate with the team in a way that parents can "look on", excluding parents and labeling them as the problem is part of creating an atmosphere that enables abuse.  As we saw in #metoo, the environment is abusive in ways that go beyond sexual abuse -- yelling, harassment, non-sexual touching, demanding that girls give up other activities, demands about maintaining low weight or criticism of body weight (from male coaches and male peers), and putting training opportunities for women behind those offered to men (boys get the best boats, better coaches, better coaching times, more race opportunities, more mention in the press, more praise for winning, etc. - and don't think the girls don't notice this!)

The problem is that a non-transparent coaching relationship where coaches are free to dole out positions on a non-merit basis is PART OF the grooming process.  These girls depend on the favor of their coach to get positions on the team that will help them in life, college, etc. -- being on first boat, getting extra practice help or instruction, getting encouragement, etc.

Parents are locked out of information about how the team is operating, and physically discouraged from being around the boats/team.  How would they get such a good picture of what's going on that they could stop it?

I resent blaming the parents.  The coach did this activity and the team management created rules that facilitated it, and when girls come to team management complaining about abuse, unfairness or grooming, their concerns are often dismissed or diminished. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics