Reply to Wife refusing to pitch in with help with aging mother

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The projection about OPs wife let’s me know that many feel it’s woman’s work to make ANY sacrifice no matter how pointless. [/quote]

Soooooooooooo much this.  OP's wife is actually the only one in the situation who DOES know what they're facing because of her profession, and she's offered her expertise in the past only to have it ignored.  Now they're ignoring her again, but also, plot twist, she's the villain for knowing it's a terrible plan![/quote]

Her "plan" is to sit back and do nothing.  And, worse, she expects her husband to sit back and do nothing to assist his parents.  She is a terrible human being.[/quote]

No, she's saying that what OP is proposing is unsustainable and cannot be done.  She's right.  If OP and his dad get their way, this will take a huge toll on OP's marriage *and* they will only admit they need more comprehensive care when OP's mom gets seriously hurt or lost.  There's no upside to this plan, only downside.[/quote]

Again, little empathy for the process that FIL is going through.  She is looking at this like a "case" but this is her FIL's life.  Instead of offering moral support and solutions to her husband's family she is sitting back and [b]criticizing every damned thing that they do[/b].  [b]She sounds like a superior know it all.[/b] No wonder they want nothing to do with her.[/quote]

And more projection!  They haven't done a damned thing yet, and the ONE thing that OP has proposed is, frankly, stupid.  We don't know what she's suggested or not, just that the current suggestion is two years of her husband spending hours driving, two years of paying more than $10K (that's just the bare minimum child care cost, not the cost that will be required when he can't stick to his unrealistic timeline, and not including gas), and stress, while OP's sister gets away with saying that she can manage one day ("maybe" two).  And this will inevitably require more effort -- MIL is just going to get worse -- and it's obvious that OP will be expected to do it.

OP needs to admit that this won't work, and ask his wife to help him figure out a plan that will be more effective.  [/quote]

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