Reply to How can you cheat and not think about how it will affect your kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]To the pp whose dad cheated:  it’s hard.  I guess if my dad had cheated, I would want some sort of justice and the only way that is in my control is to decide whether to have relationship with him or not.  For me, this justice piece is somehow related to well being and expectation for justice for my kids because I teach them to do the right thing in life and you want it to payoff in some sense.  Not able to explain clearly.

Thank you for engaging in a meaningful way.[/quote]

I thought about that too. I dearly missed the relationship I had with my father and I think when it comes down to it, I am still the child and it’s not my place to play judge and jury with my parents relationship. It was hurting me to have so much contempt and hate in my heart for someone I used to love and trust completely. It wasn’t necessarily my or my siblings place to punish him. We definitely did at first. My brother hated my dad so deeply it was almost scary. Like we had to talk him down from confronting him physically. My sister (who is still financially dependent on my parents) thought she might have to drop out of school or take on loans if he decided to stop paying for her school. Luckily he didn’t do any of that...

When I posted on DCUM years ago about this happening a lot of the responses were “why do you care? Stay out of your parents marriage.” I care because it’s not just my parents marriage but my family that is broken now. I’m relieved to not get responses like that again because it really hurt to hear that I wasn’t allowed to have an opinion on my parents marriage. [/quote]

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