Reply to SAHM with kids in school? Dealing with judgement?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't care what y'all do but the #1 reason BY FAR that I do not SAHP is because my spouse would even further check out and even further be unappreciative, unthankful, and ungrateful for everything I do running the house, raising the children, managing the sitters, planning sports/vacations/ECs, and bonding with the kids. He literally just tags along and works on his iPhone. 
 [/quote]

Interesting. This is my situation too except it’s a big part of why I continue to stay home. If I have to do everything anyway, I don’t also want a job too. How do you feel like your having a job makes your DH better?[/quote]

how do you live like this? Sounds awful. And you depend on him financially too?[/quote]

Yes. It didn’t start out this way. He had a less demanding job and was more hands on when the kids were toddlers/preschoolers. He has done progressively less and less around the house and now I just feel frustrated. I can’t make an informed choice about if I could go back to work or not because I have no idea what if anything he’d do to help me. He says he’d help but I have a hard time believing him.[/quote]

This is such BS!  I have an idea, go back to work and don't do any of the stuff except where it involves the children.  [b]Let him clean up, cook and whatever else he needs for himself.[/b]  I bet he'll figure it out.  BS on your wanting to go back to work, you like it just the way it is.  No judgement.[/quote]

He won’t do any of these things. He doesn’t clean anything. And he’d just make himself dinner and leave all the dishes. I don’t like it just the way it is, not at all. But yes I’m afraid my house will fall apart if I go to work.[/quote]

My dad was like this.  He would provide lip service to wanting my mom to return to work, but in reality he just didn’t live up to it.  
Eventually my mom did go back when we got older.  And my dad just recently sold the little law firm he started when we were kids to move to NYC for my mom’s big job.  So he is definitely supportive.  But he couldn’t multitask and he was too much of a procrastinator by nature to really pull off full time work and providing real and meaningful help around the house.    
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