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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There's always going to be SOME cutoff date because our society has arbitrary rules like that.  Everyone is eligible to drink at 21 despite significantly varying levels of maturity at that age.  Everyone has to obey the same speed limits despite dramatically different levels of driving skill and reaction time.  On and on.

So yes, in theory if cutoff date is 9/30 there are going to be a handful of kids in September or August who should ideally wait and go with following cohort because they are developmentally not ready.  And vice-versa there's going to be some October and November kids who probably would have been best served to have enrolled a year earlier rather because they WERE developmentally ready, rather than waiting just because they missed some semi-arbitrary cutoff by a few weeks.  But that's not how our society operates, by and large, we have one-size-fits-all rules and just deal with it.

No matter the cutoff date, there's always going to be kids on either side of the cusp... and the vast majority of those kids would be perfectly fine with EITHER cohort. So unless there's a strong, compelling reason to redshirt (or enroll early), it seems to me just stick with the program.  FWIW, I've got a September 2yo DD and at this stage have seen no developmental shortcomings that would compel us to redshirt, so plan is to enroll on time but continue to monitor in case anything changes dramatically in her development (seems unlikely, but you never know).[/quote]

Here is my experience. I also had a two year old DD with tan end of August birthday who was meeting all milestones. She spoke earlier than most, had lots of friends, etc. She was not speaking English much/at all, but was speaking two other languages very well. We enrolled her into DCPS PK3 and she started school a few days before turning 3. She was in a mixed age class (PK3 and PK4). Obviously she was the youngest (by 3 months), the most immature and the one with the worst English. She hated it. We spent 1 year trying to have her like school and tried everything and failed. She was doing fine “academically” and picked up English quickly, but the problem was that the 4 and older 3 year old girls did not want to play with her and excluded her. She just wasn’t able to keep up and was said and crying a lot. The teacher was a good guy, but he had to take care of 16 other kids some of which were getting into “fights” and had other issues. As a result, nobody paid attention to my little girl who was just quietly crying in the corner. It broke my heart and decided never more. She started not sleeping at night, wetting her bed (she was fully pottyvtranined by 2), biting her nails, etc.
The following year she was in a private part time o reschool where the oldest kid was 4 months older than her and the youngest was 2 months younger than her. She blossomed there. She was again happy and loving school. Stopped peeing at night, stopped waking up Witt nightmares, stopped biting her nails, etc. after a great year at this preschool I was faced with the decision of  pulling her out to start K somewhere else or keep her there with all her friends (all redshirted except for the September and October birthdays). I chose to keep her in preschool another year and start K when she was about to turn 6. She still is sensitive, too nice and does not stand up for her self. She is slowly getting better, but why (given that I have the choice) would I want to put her in a class where everyone else is older and where she may not be happy again? What horrible mother would I be?
No, she will be a little older instead of younger. If when in middle school she asks why I did not send her when I was supposed to, I will tell her the truth and that for kids with birthdays around the cutoff parents can chose and we chose to have her be the oldest instead of the youngest[/quote]

This is an issue of school choice and the school not working for the child vs. the child.  Its also an issue if child was not speaking English.[/quote]

I don't know-- my little sister, who spoke fine English in K, had a similar experience. My parents were worried about making the social isolation worse by holding her back in the same school (and having that stigma), but we couldn't afford private school, so she stayed on grade level.  [b]She never blossomed socially and while she's academically capable, her anxiety makes it hard for her to perform at high levels. [/b]It took her 6.5 years to earn a 4yr degree (full time student) and now works in a job that doesn't even require a degree.  I know she had different aspirations for herself, and it's hard watching her struggle as an adult.

Maybe if you can afford tons of out of school tutoring, a coach for executive functioning skills, other after school activities to help your child find a place to find confidence and excel, redshirting isn't needed.  But if either of my kids had August birthdays and didn't seem ready for K, I would hold them back in a heartbeat.  [b]It's correlation not necessarily causation, [/b]I know, but of 4 siblings the only one who struggled is the one that should have been held back.[/quote]

I think the part about correlation not equaling causation is key.  The anxiety you describe may have onset around the same time as the early-ish start in kindergarten, but it wasn't necessarily caused by it.  I think it's natural for us to notice negative events/outcomes, and then look back for things that were proximal, and to think they're causal--similar to vaccines and autism ("My child got her set of shots and after that started having problems socially--she was fine before vaccines, therefore I'm anti-vaxx" etc.).

It is quite possible she would have experienced problems with anxiety even if she stayed back a year, especially it runs in the family, and especially if the anxiety went untreated.  I don't know if anyone can say for sure either way.[/quote]

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