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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't care if you're  SAHM or WOH mom.  I do care when I get SAHM tell me 'I would NEVER let anyone care for my child'.  That is nice for you since you have a supportive spouse who makes significant amount of money to allow you to have the luxury to stay home.  Comments like these upsets me. Don't you think all moms would like to have the luxury to have options but not all are fortunate.  Idon't identify myself through my career.  I could care less.  I only work for my paycheck to support my family and provide a certain quality of life for them.  My goal is to earn and save significantly so I can retire early.  [/quote]

I sah and we are far from rich. I knew My dh and I both wanted me to care for our children and not have them in someone else's care. We waited, planned, saved and lived off of one income for years before having kids. We'll never be rich, but we have the family life we want.[/quote]

Enjoy dependence![/quote]

You missed the part where we planned and saved for years. Also, we depend on each other.[/quote]

But why?  Why wouldn’t you want to have a flexible job where you can spend time with your kids AND remain an independent person?  My mom stayed home and sacrificed so much.   Now that she sees me work a flexible job I think it has hit her how foolish she was.

The main person sacrificing in this arrangement is you.  You won’t be contributing to your own retirement account.  You will face challenges retentering the workforce.  You have lost your identity outside of your kids and husband.  Of course your husband will go along with this arrangement.  [/quote]

I've seen too many of my wohm friends scramble last minute due to kid's illness, weather closings, etc. I know they still bear the brunt of responsibilty for their kids and for things in the home, even though they work. My dh and I both wanted the same type of family and home life: peaceful, low stress, supportive, smooth, etc. We have been together many, many years and continue to have a happy, healthy marriage. [b]We are planners and I will be just fine if the unthinkable (insert your concern here) happens.[/b][/quote]

DP: good for you!  You and your family are unusual, and you know that, but for some reason can't look beyond your own situation.  The vast majority of women who SAH are in difficult positions financially, as PP (and others) have noted.  This debate isn't about you, personally, it's about what happens to society at large and women in general when most women don't have the opportunities for flexible, decently paid employment.  In real life, people have to solve challenging problems *and that's fine*.  Let's not stick our heads in the sand and pretend that all is hunky-dory just because we got lucky in our own personal lives.[/quote]

I didn't get lucky. We sacrificed and planned. Luck has played no part in my marriage or family life. Dh and I knew exactly what we wanted and we made it happen. It wasn't luck which brought us together or which has kept us together, it was good decision making paired with shared values and continuing commitment to each other and our family.[/quote]

Only a super-lucky, privileged person would write such a tone-deaf, ridiculous post.  Yes, I said ridiculous.  If you honestly think that whatever good fortune you enjoy now was solely due to your own efforts and merits, I have a bridge to sell you.  You are truly insufferable, and you will raise insufferable children who also falsely believe they are better than everyone else. [/quote]

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