Reply to Would you be upset if your kid was served mocktails & got a makeover at a party?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Learning that you can have fun drinking "mocktails" isn't a terrible thing, either. [/quote]

Everyone is saying fake drinks; these are real drinks. What I would get at any party I go to. This is what I would want my dd to take from this. If everyone is ordering something you don’t like, there are other choices. My 8yo dd gets “fake” coffee (decaf fraps) from Starbucks about once a month during the summer. Is that glamorizing coffee?

The professionals are a great touch. Probably better than The kids making a mess of the makeup and polish.

My only  issue is not that as an African American, the hair washing would have been a big deal for us.... [b]takes both of us a few hours to wash, detangle, and and flat iron, that we PLAN and dd can’t just wash he hair on a whim every day.[/b]  I would have been annoyed but sinc dd would have had fun, been able to fit in and not point out her differences (or her moms stuffiness) it would have been fine. And I would not have made the host uncomfortable or would have apologized if I thought I had.[/quote]

Thank you for so much educating me that washing African American hair is a completely different process than ours & takes a substantially longer time.
My daughter’s best friend is AA & we’ve always asked her to come over to go swimming, but she’s only come over to swim a few times over the past 3 years (she’ll come over for everything else we invite her to/for (dinner, movies, museums, etc).

Would offering her a swim cap be helpful?  
My DD is on the swim team and wears them all the time, so we have plenty... DD can wear them with her so she doesn’t feel different.  
I know this precious girl loves the water, so if there’s anything you can suggest that would help I’d really appreciate it!  :)

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DP.  Swim caps don't keep your hair dry if you go under water, and the chlorine still gets in your hair.  The cap might help for just splashing around above water.  Also, does your DC's friend know how to swim?  As a parent I'd be reluctant to send my nonswimmer to a pool party where there is no lifeguard.  I'd even be worried with a lifeguard because there is generally so much going on.  I've spotted a child having difficulty before a lifeguard and have witnessed a fully clothed parent jump in and save a child before the lifeguard noticed.  Both times my kids were swimming close by, so I quickly noticed because my eyes were on my kids.  The lifeguard is scanning the whole pool.  [/quote]

My AA daughter was also invited to a similar party in 3rd grade and she was totally stressed out when she heard they were doing hair.  She knew she wouldn't be able to decorate her hair like the other girls (and at our house, the hours of doing hair is NOT an enjoyable thing).  I talked to the mom ahead of time and it was fine-- they put ribbons in her hair and stuff like that without actually trying to comb it.  But I know she was worried for days before the party that she might be embarrassed.  To moms out there thinking of this kind of party--I would suggest doing facials, nails, spa stuff, etc. but not doing hair.  Or at least only doing superficial (ribbons, etc) on hair and not full on makeovers.  [/quote]

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