Reply to Do I have any right to be upset with my mom?

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Do I have any right to be upset with my mom?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op: It wasn't so much that she left. It was the manner in which she left. She didn't try to see if I had things in order, or give me time to get situated. She was also ok with leaving while my children were at school without telling them bye. She has put him before me since I was in high school. To the point that I had to give up my bed and sleep on a couch because he and his mother needed a place to sleep. I thought a day or two notice would have been considerate. My husband has been begging for us to have Christmas at home to start our own traditions, but every year I go visit her so that she can have her whole family with her. I guess I should start putting my husband first too right? 
 [/quote]

What other resentments are you holding onto regarding your mom? That mention about Christmas travel at the end signals that there may be history here that goes beyond this specific situation about which you posted.

You also made the little note that mom's SO is "on and off again" as a boyfriend; choosing to point that out seems to indicate you don't think their relationship merits her choosing him over your needs. You can see how it reads that way, can't you, OP?

If you can step aside from the focus on your trial and this one week (out of all the weeks in your life), can you see how a death, especially a sudden, traumatic one, should take precedence over a few days of babysitting the grandkids to help you out? There will be other trials -and other times you might need help. This is not some huge do-or-die litmus test of her love for your kids or her willingness to help you ( unless you choose to see it as such a test and insist she's failed).

You should listen to your DH and establish your own traditions at home, absolutely. But if you do that, even in part, as a way to get back at your mom over a situation she did not create or control -- that would be a sad motivation for staying home and creating traditions.

[/quote]

Spot on. I understand your frustration, OP, but the "on and off again" jab definitely suggests that you doesn't take your mother's relationship with the BF seriously, and that is coloring your perspective. It doesn't really matter whether you think your mom needed to leave immediately; obviously she felt that she had to. Whether or not to stay home for the holidays is a separate question - maybe it is a good idea, but don't do it to get back at your mom. Do it because it's right for your family. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics