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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Mom of a 15 year old here:
Yes, you should have shut down the phone use before dinner. But you didn't. Okay. It was a choice and there's no going back in time.

Your response after dinner was fine. Her refusal to give up the phone means she is not getting it back until Dec 5 (I picked that since it's a Monday. She needs another weekend without it.) She needs to understand that her response to you was so unacceptable and that you're not playing around. You giveth the phone and you taketh the phone. Period.

Let her mope away all weekend. And let know when she'll get it back. Write it on the calendar in the kitchen. She'll be a major drama queen.  But she doesn't get to terrorize the family.  One disrespectful, nasty comment from her results in her getting the phone on Dec 6. The second comment results in Dec 7. And so on.

Shut this nonsense down. Stay calm and stay united with your spouse. You'll all get through it.  And she'll be perfectly fine without a phone until Dec 5. [/quote]

Mom of 18 and 13 year olds. I agree with this 100% with all of this (including that you never should have let her have her phone during dinner). Remain impassive. DD can mope all weekend if she wants. Do not respond or engage in discussions about the phone. If she starts haranguing you about it, give a warning that if she speaks about it again, you will keep the phone for another day, and then walk away. Remain calm.

Do not cave on this. That would be a major mistake.[/quote]

Disagree with both of you.
OP's  daughter sounds a lot like me at that age.  Short version: being  a hardass and showing  who is boss  and "dominant" doesn't work on every kid. OP does not want to start the war of control.[/quote]

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