Reply to Ex wife threatens to send kids to live with me

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How long have you been divorced.  Did you divorce after you had an affair?  If so, is your affair partner living with you?  I ask because  these things may come into play in figuring out the best response.[/quote]

Why is it always assumed dad had the affair.  Mom could have had one. [/quote]

The worst is generally assumed about the father.

Maybe [i]mom [/i]is the nasty, manipulative one.  Maybe mom had an affair.  Maybe mom is emotionally abusive.

I know a few women who have been absolutely despicable during and after divorce.  Even the one who ended up divorced after telling her husband she didn't need him around.

Another one who would send her two daughters to their dad sometimes not wearing underwear.  "Let him buy them, if he can figure out how to buy girls' clothes."  She would send them knowing they were sick, not give him any heads up and not send their medication.  Not even prescription meds.  But he was the bad one, because he didn't have what they needed.

Another one still who sent her kids in stained, too small clothes.  Who threatened the kids with punishment if they talked about her house at their dad's, but they had to spill everything the minute they came back from dad's.

Don't just assume dad is the screw up here, people.[/quote]

I asked the question. Note, it is a question. What is confusing about that?  How to address  The situation may well be based on the reason that the mom seems to have a real bitterness toward the father not having the responsibilities that go with primary  yesterday. If the dad is currently living with a new moment, or his affair partner if he had one, the issue maybe more about the relationship between the mom and the dad, and her dealing with a new coparent.  If there is not a new coparent in the picture,  The issues are likely more about more generalized stress of parenting alone. And clearly her inability to manage this stress in a way that is appropriate with kids.  Not every question includes assumptions. [/quote]

What if mom is living with the affair partner?  What if mom gives him all her attention and not the kids?  What if mom does absolute minimum for the kids in terms of clothing, food, activities (if any) as she prefers to spend the money on herself or her AP?[/quote]

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