Reply to Ex wife threatens to send kids to live with me

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How long have you been divorced.  Did you divorce after you had an affair?  If so, is your affair partner living with you?  I ask because  these things may come into play in figuring out the best response.[/quote]

Why is it always assumed dad had the affair.  Mom could have had one. [/quote]

The worst is generally assumed about the father.

Maybe [i]mom [/i]is the nasty, manipulative one.  Maybe mom had an affair.  Maybe mom is emotionally abusive.

I know a few women who have been absolutely despicable during and after divorce.  Even the one who ended up divorced after telling her husband she didn't need him around.

Another one who would send her two daughters to their dad sometimes not wearing underwear.  "Let him buy them, if he can figure out how to buy girls' clothes."  She would send them knowing they were sick, not give him any heads up and not send their medication.  Not even prescription meds.  But he was the bad one, because he didn't have what they needed.

Another one still who sent her kids in stained, too small clothes.  Who threatened the kids with punishment if they talked about her house at their dad's, but they had to spill everything the minute they came back from dad's.

Don't just assume dad is the screw up here, people.[/quote]

+1, my husband's ex cheated on him and wouldn't let him see the kids.  It didn't matter how many times we went to court.  She'd agree to the judge about phone calls and visits and then refuse them.  She'd trash any clothing we bought and yet the kids barely had anything.  We'd buy the plane tickets as scheduled and she would not put them on the plane.  (she was supposed to pay for 1/2 but that never happened).  She'd tell the kids dad cheated on her, when she cheated on him and has been living with the affair partner for many years.  She tells the kids he was a deadbeat when he never missed a child support payment, sent extra money upon demand and had a $20,000 overpayment at one court hearing (she filed so I'd pay her child support too) as two kids and the alimony should have been terminated but my husband was decent and kept paying.  She got double payments as she'd file garnishments and he'd pay not realizing she filed and she'd refuse to return the money.  The judge allowed her to keep the money, would just fuss at her for the no visits or phone calls saying she needed to do better with no consequences and while she gave my husband more visitation with ex paying a greater share, she continued to refuse to send them so that was a joke.  She did reduce the child support greatly to one child taking off two and the alimony.  She was never ordered to pay his attorney or travel expenses.  And people wonder why dad's give up.  Courts generally do nothing and often do more harm than good.

This dad may be a jerk and lousy father and husband but he may have been a great father and husband and ex was just nuts.[/quote]

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