Reply to MILs and their different race DILs

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]White wash is an expression about covering up some misdeed. It's origins come from using cheap white paint. It's not a racist statement.[/quote]

Yes that's true when it is used to describe circumstances which are being covered-up or camouflaged, as with paint. [b]But describing the action of a white MIL trying to shape a DIL of another culture or race or ethnicity into someone who is more like MIl as "whitewashing"--that is offensive.[/b][/quote]

Non-white person here. I don't understand what is offensive about the term when it's describing something that is completely offensive- trying to erase or dismiss a non-white culture or heritage. Can you explain more?[/quote]

NP. What I found somewhat offensive is what OP is saying "will they white wash me" before anything happens, showing prejudice herself ahead of time. She is posting ahead of time to find out how racist and accepting have other MILs been. This shows, to me, prejudice and intolerance on her part.[/quote]
I think she was expressing a concern, probably based on things she's seen or heard before.  Wondering if that's a possibility is not whitewashing.

Black american DIL here who married a Muslim African.  When he told his mom we were engaged (after years of being together) she asked him couldn't he at least marry a Muslim (she was willing to let go of the African thing, LOL).  I wish my husband hadn't told me she said that, but he did and it caused problems the next couple of times I saw her because I was angry.  However, she's never been anything but polite to me and loving to our children.  I imagine she's a bit disappointed, but she's too high class to ever express it to me.  We are ok.  Not tremendously close, but fine.  We both love the same people.[/quote]

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