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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]:28. I am jewish. This made me cry.

I was raised conservative and was nodding as I read about your use of goy. Though the way my mother always used it was to put down someone who was non-Jewish in a tacky way (think Real Housewives of Jersey). Now that I'm an adult I find her judgment tacky.

I am so sorry you were made to feel "other." [/quote]

Thanks, you are sweet.  It all adds to the fabric of who we are, so I feel kind of lucky to have had an observer's seat in a weird way- I kind of decided that was the gift in light of other not so great things.

Sure, I understand exactly what was said by our parents. That's what my parents did:  " She acts like a 'shicksa"  " Such a goyim thing to do."

It was a way to culturally separate everyone and to preserve the culture, but for most children in my generation (not adopted or adopted) it did not work. We were the first to marry out ( in the 70s and 80s) - sometimes with great trauma to the family, but, at least with those that I know, no one was disowned. No one. Those kids  kids had kids who married Jews and Non- Jews, and many married outside of the race. Most seem to practice or keep the culture, some more of the religion than others, but it is not gone.  The world progresses. So, the question is this: is Judaism dying because we cannot preserve that cultural boundary line? No. Judaism is being rebranded and reformulated to reflect a educated, pluralistic, non-mysogenistic society.  Reform and Conservative  Judaism does not look like Orthodox practice at all. I've been to Bar Mitzvahs and weddings  that really do not even resemble anything traditional in style or liturgy. Sometimes I think it looks like "not Christian" more than " different Jewish." Whatever it is , this generation will continue to progress in ways that do not resemble the culture of Europe in the 1800s, and the Orthodox will continue to strive to keep it. What that will look like in 20 years will be quite interesting, but even the Orthodox will have a hard time with the bloodline thing- surrogate eggs, carriers, IVF,  conversions, adoption- I mean, the gig is up, they will have to progress eventually, too.

I'm not angry at my parents (now) at all.If they were here, they would explain that they were raised in fear, through WWII, and the things they said and did to try and preserve their culture  were based in survival. They grew up in extremely observant homes and they were the ones to figure out how to assimilate  with non-Jews because they left their city shtetels and worked as professionals in the world. They didn't socialize out of their community, but they did work out of their community. Their parents lived in little insular communities and had shops, small businesses, etc...only within the Jewish community.  So, our parents  made some mistakes in how to do it in some ways, and I guess there were casualties, but like every revolution, there will be casualties. I think it's interesting that parents today, people in their 30s, who are Jewish and not orthodox, might still wonder or worry about the genetic aspect of it.

Meanwhile, one of my kids has an appearance that  doesn't scream "non-Jew." In fact, when she tells people she's Jewish, no one has ever questioned it.  As a result, she and her kids will go through life without anyone questioning it, so she could easily live in Israel, marry anyone, participate in religion, etc.  if she wanted to. She is not genetically Jewish at all. It would only be questioned if she volunteered that her mother was adopted and was not Jewish, or maybe if someone saw me and instantly would question it, so how will that be prevented in this generation, or future generations?  It cannot.  We will all move on. 
[/quote]

I love your writing and your reflections on Judaism. Have you been published? Here a link for submissions to Tablet Magazine. Your couple of posts seemed like the beginning of an interesting series. http://www.tabletmag.com/about (I'm not affiliated w/Tablet. Your writing just reminded me of their style.)[/quote]

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