Reply to Do you feel you married the wrong person?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

Yes, the lack of physical has driven us apart.  That is a chicken and egg question though, isn't it?  She would probably say she doesn't feel like being intimate if we aren't connected.

I don't know how we got here, to be honest.  It's like we were a whirlwind when the kids were little.  Then they hit elementary school, and now we should be celebrating some of our time together again, and instead we bicker.  Which is really sad because we aren't negative bickering types.  We are what others perceive as the fun couple (side note - classic example of never assume what goes on in a marriage).

She seems to hold a lot of resentment to me.  I have my theories, but I don't want to ignite the mommy wars on this thread.

If this makes any sense, we are actually quite kind and occasionally flirty over email and phone when I am travelling for work, but at home when the kids go to bed it's icy.

We need to fix it, I suppose, but it's hard to find the will to work on something you have lost interest in working on.  It would be nice to improve it just so the elephant in the room would go away.

Any suggestions?[/quote]

I don't know, but it sounds like it isn't beyond hope, but that it will get there if you don't do something.

Maybe try to work through the resentment?  It sounds like you haven't talked about it much if you don't know whether there is resentment or what might be causing it.  Resentment is certainly a love and lust killer.

It sounds like you need to connect.  If you are each just surfing your phones at night on your own, ignoring each other, etc., that's not helping.  Maybe try watching thought-provoking or romantic movies together.  That can help fix the lack of connection problem without seeming like an awful chore, like therapy.[/quote]

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