Reply to If you married, the wrong person, what were the signs that you missed?

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Reply to "If you married, the wrong person, what were the signs that you missed? "

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm in a committed relationship, and we have been discussing marriage, but the more we discuss, the less certain I am of us and a future together. I don't know if I'm just getting cold feet because I have never ever loved someone like I love my current bf. I have not been in many serious relationships so this is the longest and most serious relationship I have experienced.

What were the warning signs that you missed that tipped you off in the end that it was the wrong person? [/quote]

Please take your time. Maybe stop talking about it for awhile and just live. I am a big proponent of living together before actually making everything legal. If you are against that, have a long engagement. [/quote]

It's harder to break up when you are living with someone.[/quote]

OP, take your time and do NOT live with him.  Living with a person tends to slide into marriage without the time and space to scrutinize the man and the relationship in ways that will benefit you.  You want to make a marriage decision (whichever way it goes) from a place you can leave relatively easily.[/quote]

-1

[b]Sign a one year lease-if the relationship is not working out, do not renew. [/b]Living together provides alot of information that useful for determining whether or not you can spend the rest of your life with him. It is possible for two people to love each but have incompatible views about the practicalities of life. 
Living together will force you to deal with issues like household management, division of labor, finances, potential inlaws etc. Talking about it in abstract is not the same as having to practice it. Also, some people are very good at compartmentalizing the dysfunctional aspects for their life- living together makes it alot harder to hide or minimize.[/quote]

This is easier said than done and costly for OP.  Moving isn't cheap.  Also why spend an entire year of your life?  Most likely if you move in together you're on a slow walk down the aisle to the alter.  That or you simply waste more time than necessary and instead of breaking up and dating other people you're still in the phase of figuring out how to move out.  Don't put yourself in this position.

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