Reply to If you married, the wrong person, what were the signs that you missed?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Mismatch in values

[b]Different religious and SES background

Cared about what I wanted/needed only to the extent it didn't inconvenience him, or make him uncomfortable

Geographic inflexibility (I moved here for him and that was a huge mistake that I regret every day)[/b]

We are in marriage counseling now, but were it not for our two kids, I would have been gone long ago.[/quote]

This is me. I would have made it right and stayed. He cheated. Pretty much told me I was shit and he never loved me, and he left. Years later, I have trust issues, and a completely lack of willingness to ever love or be hurt again. Years of therapy later, and it's still not OK.

Take your time. Look at your life. Who's making most of the sacrifices? Do you like his family? What are their beliefs and values? Is there a family history of cheating/lying/disregarding the other partner/etc.? It won't change for you. How's his history? You're not gonna be treated any differently than his previous women. If you have doubts, maybe listen to them. No need to rush into anything. Once kids are involved, no matter how you handle it, it's hell for them to break up the nuclear family. [/quote]

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