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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yup, no room for doubt, unfortunately.  there were pictures of her with my grandparents captioned with their (unique and ethnic) names in the scan of one of the newspaper pages! My grandparents were of the generation who looked and dressed exactly the same from age 30 until their deaths. I can't imagine what poor news conglomerate intern got stuck scanning backissues of this tiny newspaper, but they were thorough.

The things the poster said about NPD moms making stuff up and telling you what you think is very accurate. "Oddly cruel" is also accurate- for a few weeks while my dad was traveling and I was in late elementary school my mom told me I was adopted, even though I am not. She kept the tale going for days and had me convinced it was true. when she let my dad in on the "joke" I think he forced her to drop it.

[b]More flippant but illustrative: I remember loving certain things as a kid but suppressing them or choosing the exact opposite of what I preferred because my mom would say I liked x, or was a so-and-so kind of person. Choosing my adult wardrobe when I finally had a paycheck was so confusing and I spent a few years changing my style completely every 6 months. I still feel like I'm trying on identities and figuring out what's me versus what she's said is me. Whew.[/b] [/quote]

My mom is similar. She would be convinced that I said I liked such-and-such, would tell everybody that, and god forbid I say "that's not what I said" or "actually, I like...." I spent years and years and years convinced I had the worst memory. She was (and is) so insistent that I said I wanted or liked these things. Only as an adult am I able to see it as her projecting her wants and desires on me and being a control issue.

She still does this to me as an adult! But now I just don't care about her hissy fits about me asserting myself. The luxury of age and distance, I suppose. I really do think she believes, has convinced herself that these things actually happened. I see it in other aspects of her life. Lying about her past (although not to the level of your mother!), but I think she convinces herself these lies are true, that they actually happened--they are true to her. It's very frustrating to me to sit there and listen to her present herself in a certain way and know it's not true. Heck, sometimes it's not even "just" an embellished version of the truth; it's flat out lies.[/quote]

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