Reply to DH and I both lost parents recently - feeling like we are in a "grief contest"

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I posted earlier about fighting with my SIL on the eve of my mother's funeral because I felt like she was trying to take it over.

I just wanted to add a note of sympathy for your FIL; he's probably not trying to be an attention hog/drama king. After my mother passed, my father became a big public crier. I had seen him cry once, maybe twice in 36 years and suddenly every place we'd go he would cry because he remembered being there with my mom (even when that wasn't always the case!) Honestly it bugged me too. I thought it was kind of narcissistic tbh. Now, I have enough distance that I can appreciate he was just that sad, and that incapable of dealing with it without expressing it to others.

Also, huge sympathies to you. My father is now in an advanced stage of Alzheimers, under hospice care and barely cognizant. He will be in a better place when he dies. And I can't write that without crying. Your grief over the loss of an elderly parent, "on schedule" so to speak, is no less valid than someone who lost a parent a decade or two younger. My mother died at 63; it was a different kind of awful but it's all still awful. I'm so sorry for your loss, and hope you and your family can work your way through this tough period.[/quote]

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