Reply to Why do some friends and family consider the end of my marriage such a failure?

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Reply to "Why do some friends and family consider the end of my marriage such a failure?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Because realistically, you are looking at living and dying alone. Both of you will take a significant financial hit, and so will your children eventually. Not to say it's the end of the world, but it is a failure in a sense that your and DH's potential to spend your older years together will not be realized. It is sad, otherwise you wouldn't cry about it.[/quote]

Good point here.  I've been divorced from my ex for almost 10 years and I'm remarried and there are so many things that would have made staying together better for everyone that I just didn't get until very recently.  The financial hit is a big one, but I could have mitigated that by holding off on decision making for 1 yr post divorce.  The loss of contact with extended family, the loss of friends.  The loss of your kids connectedness to a network and the kids having to have 2 separate lives, one with each parent.  This is the case even if they are adults.

You say that your husband is adamant about living elsewhere.  Even if you had 2 homes you may be better off staying together.  You won't see this pov for a long time.  There are more things, I'm not thinking of everything right now.

I really did not like my ex as a person.  Even now I think that he is a self-centered jerk.  But we had 2 kids and I can see if there was some way to hold our marriage together it would have probably benefitted all of us.[/quote]

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