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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, two things aren't really clear:

1)What is this "grey area" you talk about regarding the contact.  Was it mostly sexual:  you are so hot, I would love to have sex with you again.  Or was it emotional:  I miss us, I made a mistake marrying Larla, I will always love you.  If its the latter, that is a much bigger deal than the former.

2) is your wife insecure and controlling or is this totally out of the blue for her?

Because what you describe doing - having flirty conversations with an ex who lives 1000 miles away, is a misdemeanor level offense in the context of a long marriage.  Its wrong, its hurtful, but her reaction of wanting a divorce is crazy if that's all it was.  Which leads me to believe either your messages said something other than the typical "you are so hot, I wish we could screw" or your wife has some massive issues.  And if its because she has issues, your are in for a long, rough ride buddy.

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1) I wish it was that salacious. It was flirting in the rated R sense. Mostly innuendos, complimenting on FB pictures, and how she looked hot. While sexy, we didn't talk about sex. We didn't share any feelings of spouses or about wanting to be together again. To be honest, the majority of them was just companionship - so talked about the day, weekend plans, cooking, and fantasy football.

2) She isn't insecure in that way. But breaking her trust has put her into an emotional spiral. I told her it was totally my fault and a one time thing. I'm not out looking for people to flirt. The only controlling thing is not having any alone time, practically never. But its understandable as there are lots to do with a young one. But there were no guys nights, happy hours etc, weekend trips etc.

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