Reply to Mother in law forces my son to give hugs and kisses.

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Reply to "Mother in law forces my son to give hugs and kisses."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ok... to the people who are saying this is about consent and bodily autonomy, yes, that is EXTREMELY important, but we have to recognize that OP's MIL is not some acquaintance or stranger, she's grandma.  I think a lot of people on this board are willing to sacrifice relationships with their MILs for the sake of principles like these, and yes, it is very important to stick with your principles in parenting, but it is also very important to care about relationships and other people's feelings.

OP can very gently suggest to MIL, "Larla, you don't have to worry, give it a few minutes and little Larlo will come to you," and out of sight of MIL she can tell Larlo "You don't have to ever hug someone if you don't want to, but Grandma loves you very much, and that is why she wants hugs and kisses."  That's it, that's all I would do, and I would otherwise stay out of it.  I cannot see OP handling this in any other way that would not hurt MIL's feelings or blow up in OP's face.

I personally never make my kids hug anyone, if someone wants their affection I tell them "give them a few minutes and they'll warm up to you."  When someone gives my child a hug or kiss they don't want they both scream bloody murder, and no toy on this planet will make them hug someone they don't want to hug, but they're both wired that way.[/quote]

You totally don't get it, PP.   The mom should NOT be teaching the kid that the proper thing to do is to give in to emotional blackmail.  The kid has good instincts.  The grandma is being an emotionally needy, manipulative creep.

You don't just have to teach kids to protect themselves from child molesters.  It is also healthy to honor their instincts to not give in to emotionally manipulative, fucked up people.  I would straight up tell MIL, "It is not ok that you keep bribing Sam with gifts in order to get affection from him.  If you wish to give him a present, that is your choice.  But he is not required to give you physical affection in return.  Please stop pressuring him.  We are reaching Sam that he doesn't have to touch an adult just because they offer a toy or say they feel hurt.  He is not being rude. You are."

I can't believe how many of you are posting and not realizing how fucked up this situation is.  [/quote]

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