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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Your husband might have ADHD. There's a cycle there. He doesn't do what he's supposed to do, gets overwhelmed, hates that you're reminding him of this, and explodes.

My husband does this too, and worse. I know he has ADHD because it runs in his family and our son has it as well. So far he refuses to seek a formal diagnosis and medication, but I know it will never get better if he doesn't do that. So either I will leave, or he will be treated.[/quote]

Yes, my "absent-minded" DH is like this too. But not with office work, or shopping for a new toy. 
During one of our conversations he really liked the idea that his iPhone was the reason he kept not hearing people, doing things he said he would and was bad behavior to model for our young kids.  He really felt better that his iPhone was the culprit and he was a victim.

But in my case I know it is his passive aggressive tendencies.  He feels, and has said, that emotions (especially any type of anger or sadness) are a weakness and should not occur. You are a weak person if you are upset, sad, disappointed or angered.  Thus he suppresses his feelings, since he does not know what to do with them, let's them out in passive behavior (like not doing something, peeing on the toilet, forgetting something, doing something totally wrong), tried to get called out on it, escalates the conversation to an angry one and then pounces on you for getting angry at him. You are the problem, you're angry!!!  Textbook PA. And it will be the end of our marriage as soon as our kids get in to elementary school FT.  I've seen enough. [/quote]

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