Reply to Boyfriend not interested in my family at all.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No we are both white. It may seem excessive to some but this is my normal. My mom is sick with a chronic illness so I try to spend as much time with her as possible and my sister just had a baby so I want to see my niece too.

Family is really important to me but so is my boyfriend and I feel like I have compromised, we agreed that I would have dinner with him 5 nights out of the week and spend more time together doing things just us. But he still grudgingly participates with my family. He doesn't want to come to my brothers birthday next weekend either.

I don't understand how I seem like the crazy one?! I'm honestly shocked at these responses. [/quote]

If I were him, I'd feel suffocated.  I'm just being honest.  If my husband wanted me to spend that much time with his family, I'd wish him well but insist we part ways.  It's just not something I can do on a regular basis.

It's also possible that he doesn't really like your family.  That doesn't mean he hates them, but maybe he just doesn't like them enough to want to spend that much time around them.

My husband never expects me to attend his family events.  I never expect him to attend mine.  We usually both end up attending inlaw events, even if it isn't the way we'd prefer to spend our time.  But a big part of our willingness to go is that fact that we don't pressure each other.  We respect each other as autonomous adults.   Allowing each other choice makes it seem less like an oppressive obligation.
It also makes me breathe easier knowing if -- for whatever reason -- I really don't want to go to a function, he's not going to be angry.  I'm actually more inclined to agree to go to things because of that.

But all of that said, there's no way I could deal with seeing my husband's family on a weekly basis.  No way.  I'm sure he feels the same about mine.  In fact, I think we both feel the same about our own families -- that we need space from them.  But we're both fairly independent people.
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