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[quote=Anonymous]OP, if you have been with your fiance a long time, even though the drinking is his problem, it's extremely likely that you have become part of the dynamic of an alcoholic family as well and need to examine your own behavior.  I saw this play out with my parents.  My mom didn't reflect on her own behavior because in her view the only problem was always my father's drinking.  And once he quit drinking there as always something else he was doing wrong according to her.

Al-Anon helps with that self-reflection.  As an adult child of an alcoholic, Al-Anon helped me sort out my own issues vis a vis my parents and other things happening in my life. I was living a pretty crazy life because that's what I learned growing up in my family.  Even though my dad wasn't drinking at that time, I was still acting like an untreated child of an alcoholic.

You don't have to be religious - and again as people have noted, it depends on the meeting you go to.  I attended Al-Anon meetings at the university where I attended grad school and there were very few people whom I would call highly religious.[/quote]

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