Reply to Did you divorce due to spouse's travel?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What's missing from the discussion is....do you love him??  Does he love you?  [/quote]
This.
Do you spend quality time when you are together?[/quote] Not really... he's absorbed by his iPad. We do occasional dates, but only if I make the arrangements.[/quote]

Then start with that. Spend quality time together when you are together. No screens. [/quote]I'd have to tear it from his cold, dead hands. Honestly. I swear.[/quote]

Just ask him. I have to do this with my DH. He doesn't travel as much as yours (about half as much), but sure, it can be tough. But it will be tougher without him.

I did get to the point where I liked it better when he was gone. But we are coming back. Make a point to do the things to reintroduce intimacy in your life. Dates, yes, you are going to have to arrange them. Just do it every week.  Talk every day, find something special to do together. Make a point to see his good qualities. Complement him. Have sex every week, if not more.[/quote] OP here... it's really hard. He thinks everything is perfectly fine and he is perfectly happy with things as they stand. I am miserable.[/quote]

I know it is hard. But if he doesn't know you are miserable, he can't do anything about it. Really, and truly, give it a try if you do love him. Talk with a counselor for you, and maybe a couples counselor when you are ready as a couple.

I know what it is like to be miserable. I do. But you can do this. Make yourself happy, but don't not say things. Don't avoid the hard topics. You can be kind, but clear, that his screen time is upsetting you and making you feel unimportant.

My DH used to use the phone at dinner and it drove me crazy. I asked him not to, and it took a while for him to GET it. "can you please put your phone away at dinner" every night until it sinks in. Sometimes he still pulls it out, but much much much less.

And, really, my DH rarely makes the dates. If I don't do them, they don't happen. But, sometimes you just have to accept that. Kind of like if he doesn't wash my car it doesn't get washed. Right?[/quote]

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