Reply to How do you keep kids out of trouble?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Stand by your kids.  When another parent calls you and accuses your kid of something, and you don't have the facts, (yes this is a common helicopter parent practice, to sort out every little trouble for their teen,) you take your kid's side.  Never put your kids down in front of anybody. If you think/know your kid to be in the wrong, discuss that privately with your kid. Make sure not to be a friend, but don't lash out at your kids if they tell you something, even if it is bad.  Then they will never tell you anything even if they need help. Respect goes both ways, I believe, unless you have a major problem teen.  I tell my kids, I trust them, and that they should trust me and that I will always be on their side and by their side when they need me.  But, I can be very strict as well.  It is not the fear like 20 years ago that keeps kids from doing "bad" things, I think it is the fear of losing respect and they might say what they like but they want us to be proud of them.[/quote]

I think this is somewhat true, but I would say remain neutral.  Don't automatically discipline them for doing something wrong of course without all the facts, but don't also assume they've done no wrong.  I can't tell you the number of times I've heard stories of parents completely ignoring, blowing off or disbelieving something that another parent is trying to alert them to about their DC because their little snowflake can do no wrong.  It's turning a blind eye to something that requires parenting.  So more taking the neutral course until you find out all the details.[/quote]

+1. If your kid is repeatedly accused of being a bully, don't take your kids' side the 9th time there is an accusation but you "don't have the facts." You have to demonstrate in front of your kids that you also will not tolerate that kind of behavior, period, and that it is wrong no matter who is doing it. [/quote]

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