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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I can certainly see why you, as his girlfriend, would be intimidated by this. However, he's been friends with her for years and you've only been in his life for a few months. I would be pretty pissed if a new boyfriend started telling me that I shouldn't be friends with my close male friends because he was concerned that our texting about work BS and Game of Thrones was a threat to our relationship.

If I wanted to text my husband about these things, I would (and do!). Doesn't change that I'm also going to talk to other people in my life that I'm close to.

I think you need to figure out what exactly bothers you so much. That he chooses to talk to her instead of you? Do you want to talk to him for 3 hours while he's driving to see you? Do you want to text him incessantly?[/quote]

I know this is my own insecurities. She is educated, I am not, she is single living extremely well(saw pictures of her home), I am back living with parents with son from previous relationship, she is well traveled, I haven't been off the east coast. I ask myself why has he picked me over her and if she isn't interested now but changes her mind and snaps her fingers does he just disappear out of my life. I feel like a second fiddle, like he settled for me cause he couldn't have her. [/quote]

Well, think about it this way. She's a lot older than him and also is his superior at work. My husband has a pretty strong relationship with a woman who used to be his boss, but she's 15 years older than him and he definitely sees her on the same level as his aunt. He likes her, they talk regularly about mutual interests, and she has definitely played a really important role in his life, but he doesn't see her romantically.

Do you have anything other than a lot of communications to indicate that your boyfriend sees this woman romantically?[/quote]

BTW...not his boss, just same company and in higher position than him. Not a mentor.

Well the only thing that does bother me is when I asked him what she looked like....first he hesitated then went on to say basically that she is super hot. This isn't a motherly, aunty, or sisterlyl type of relationship. I have seen a bad fuzzy picture of her, all I saw was a long slender leg and a lot of hair. [/quote][/quote]

You know, honestly, there is no good that can come of asking a man about the physical appearance of another woman. Either he's going to tell you that she's ugly (and describe that) and he will seem like a jerk, or he will tell you that she's attractive, which will cause you to worry that he's attracted to her. None of that is a recipe for anything good.

He chose to be with you because he wants to be with you. Think about the things you have in common with him and stop focusing on what he might see in her. Alternatively, break up with him and sort out your self esteem issues before getting into a relationship. If you feel bad about yourself for your supposed flaws now, you will feel bad about them later too unless you address them.[/quote]

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