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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.    We limit gaming to family games our youngest can watch, and his alone time is an hour on weekends.  
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OP, my oldest is like your son and I've tried everything mentioned (except forcing sports - I think forcing is a terrible idea). Two things strike me when I read your posts. First is that some kids are going to make better adults than kids and will be more successful at relationships as adults. Second is that when you have a significant enough age gap that you limit your family activities as you mention, you may not be giving your son the tools to engage in an age appropriate way. I chose a different tactic than you - we gear things to the older kids because we found that my son really needed work in the maturity and age appropriate interest development. Things much improved for him when we shifted focus and I don't think my youngest has been harmed. We just bought notice cancelling headphones for those times when the movies we watch aren't appropriate.

When my son hit high school things got better than really bad because though the bigger pool of kids led to actual friendships, his choices were not kids I liked and eventually a few things happened that led me to end most of the relationships - you can only imagine how bad it would have to be to make this decision after he had no friends for so long. But two years later he entered into a vo-tech program where he met kids with the same interests and now he has a few friends. He still usually prefers to hang with me if I would let him. But I make myself a last resort now so that he fosters his friendships. [/quote]

This is a very insightful post.

We were the same way (only games and shows/movies appropriate for (4 years +) younger siblings. Being so rigid did lead to social issues around 12-13 years for the reasons mentioned.

What worked for us was that from 9:00-10:00 (later in weekends) when they younger siblings went to bed, our teen was allowed to play games or watch shows that other kids his age were watching. It made a huge difference, both in how he socialized but also his confidence and how well he fit in with other kids his age.[/quote]

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