Reply to Found out that DH had gay sex many years ago

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[quote=Anonymous]If your DH has just told you he was raped as a child, that is HUGE news.
Yes, people have a variety of responses and sexual abuse victims are not all the same. A lot depends on what occurred, who the offender was (family or not, position of trust or not, etc), how often it occurred, whether it involved violence, whether the person told others and got help at the time or not, whether the person was believed if they told or not, etc. etc. etc.

I would not be disturbed if my DH told me he had gay sex when he was 20 but if he was raped as a child....!?! That is huge.

I had sexual abuse issues in my past that I ignored for years and years and years. I guess you can say I thought I had "gotten over" them. But, not so.

I suggest you continue to talk to your DH about this. If you have not already, tell him how it saddened you to think of him as a boy and having to suffer through this. Thank him for the trust he's shown in you in telling you. You should read some books such as Betrayed as Boys to give you some insight into some things that might go on. Whether he seeks therapy or not is his choice, but educate yourself so you can best support him.  [/quote]

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